


Won't Live in Regrets

by GotTheSilver



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) - Alternate 2012 Timeline, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29741670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GotTheSilver/pseuds/GotTheSilver
Summary: 2012 branching timeline.*Brushing the shattered glass off himself, Steve stands up, puts the sceptre back in the case and looks around. There’s no sign of his double, and Steve doesn’t understand how he’s ended up back with the sceptre when his double was so determined to get it. There’s an echo in his ear and he’s reminded he’s still linked to the rest of the team. “Stark? Anyone? What’s happening?”“Tony had a minor incident,” comes Natasha’s voice in his ear. “He’s being looked at. Where are you?”“Lower floor, I’ve still got the sceptre.”“I thought that was going with SHIELD?”“So did I.”
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 49
Kudos: 297
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Bingo





	Won't Live in Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> fills cap-im stony bingo: square N1, Team Leaders.

It’s chaos in the wake of losing the Tesseract, but Steve mostly misses it, instead waking up on the ground with the sceptre beside him and a scribbled note in his own handwriting that tells him to trust himself, to trust Tony, and offers up proof in the form of what his mom used to make for him on his birthday. To say Steve’s a little confused would be the understatement of the year, and he hasn’t even been awake for most of it.

Brushing the shattered glass off himself, he stands up, puts the sceptre back in the case and looks around. There’s no sign of his double, and Steve doesn’t understand how he’s ended up back with the sceptre when his double was so determined to get it. There’s an echo in his ear and he’s reminded he’s still linked to the rest of the team. “Stark? Anyone? What’s happening?”

“Tony had a minor incident,” comes Natasha’s voice in his ear. “He’s being looked at. Where are you?”

“Lower floor, I’ve still got the sceptre.”

“I thought that was going with SHIELD?”

“So did I.”

There’s quiet over the comms and then Natasha speaks again. “Come back up, something weird’s going on.”

“You’re telling me,” Steve mutters, looking at the note before folding it up and putting it in a pocket. He was so sure that it was Loki before and now he doesn’t know what to think. Taking his cowl off, he shakes his head and walks to the elevator, where he’s whisked away without needing to press a button once the doors close.

When the doors open again, Steve sees Tony laid out on the bar with his vitals being taken by a machine, and before Steve really knows what he’s doing he’s right by Tony’s side, dropping the case and his cowl on the floor. “What happened?” he asks, hand hovering over Tony’s chest.

“Just a little heart thing, it’s no big,” Tony says, eyeing Steve’s hand.

“It doesn’t look so little,” Steve says dubiously, drawing his hand back. “Why aren’t you at a hospital?”

“Because I don’t need to be, right JARVIS?”

“You’re not in any immediate danger,” JARVIS says. “But given the circumstances, I would advise you take a look at the reactor sooner rather than later.”

“See, I’m fine,” Tony says, sitting up. “Now, what happened to you? JARVIS showed me the footage, why were there two of you?”

“Uh—”

“And, you know, we lost Loki, plus the tesseract, so why do you still have the sceptre?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says, folding his arms across his chest now he knows Tony is mostly okay. “I thought I was fighting Loki, but when I woke up—” Steve cuts himself off and looks around. The floor is mostly cleared out with only the Avengers still around, but even so he lowers his voice so only Tony can hear him. “There was a note, in my handwriting, and it—it had something only I would know.”

“Huh,” Tony says, swinging his legs over the edge of the bar and reaching for the decanter of scotch. “Drink?” he asks, offering it to Steve. “I need another.”

“Tony—”

“Have you had a heart attack today? No, so don’t judge me.”

“Heart attack? Tony, I thought you—”

“It’s fine,” Tony interrupts, pouring himself a drink and knocking it back. “Promise, Cap.”

“Steve.”

“What?”

“Just—battle’s over, right? Call me Steve.”

Tony eyes him in a way that makes Steve want to crawl inside his skin, but he holds Tony’s gaze instead, and when Tony looks away there’s a satisfied smile on his face. “Okay,” Tony says. “Steve. Look, we’re still going for lunch, but after that, come back here with me and we can talk.” Slipping down from the bar, Tony looks around at the mess that was his penthouse. “Lot of work to do,” he says with a sigh. “Pepper is already working out funding to clean up the city, and I’m sure she’ll be chasing me for my signature soon. Thor is panicking about Loki, and to be honest I’m not exactly enamoured with the fact that the tesseract has gone missing, but that’s the hand we’ve been dealt, I guess.”

“Seems like a crappy hand,” Steve says. “But I’m sure it could be worse.”

“Such giddy optimism,” Tony says, and Steve can’t tell if he’s being mocked or not. “Let me guess, SHIELD have put you up in a no window, one bedroom apartment that would make me cry if I set foot in it, right? Wait, don’t answer that. If you want to set yourself up in one of the non-destroyed rooms then feel free. I guarantee even with the new giant air conditioning space it’ll be cosier than whatever Fury’s done for you. And—”

“What?” Steve asks, when Tony pauses.

An indecipherable look flickers over Tony’s face. “Given everything that happened today, feels like maybe we should all stick together. Not that I’ve ever been much of a team player, but—”

“No,” Steve interrupts, visions of how Tony flew the bomb into the portal flashing through his mind. “Sticking together sounds like a plan.”

*

So all of them move in, Steve settling into a lower floor quite comfortably, and he ends up spending most of his time helping to rebuild the tower. What Steve really wants to be doing is to be in the city helping people, working to fix all the damage the battle caused, but whenever he tries the press swarm him. Between the yelling and the cameras in his face, Steve’s come to realise he’s a distraction from the work good people have been doing, and he hates it.

He still tries, though, and a few weeks after moving in, Steve comes back to the tower from being harassed by the press yet again and he heads down to Tony’s workshop. When he gets there, he kicks his shoes off and practically throws himself on the couch, groaning loudly in frustration.

“Well hello, Captain Drama,” Tony says. “What’s up?”

“The press,” Steve mumbles into a couch cushion. Feeling like an idiot, he rolls over and stares up at the ceiling, looking at the patterns the holoscreen lights are making. “I don’t understand how they can—all I want to do is help.”

“Regretting fighting for that whole freedom of the press thing?”

“What they’re doing isn’t journalism,” Steve says, craning his neck and looking at Tony.

“You’ll get no argument from me,” Tony says, flicking at a screen before turning around on his stool. “Hey, so, I did some thinking about your whole double situation, consulted an old college rival.”

“And?”

“Reed thinks there was something funky going on.”

“Helpful.”

Tony grins, getting off the stool and walking over. “Come on,” he says, tapping Steve’s legs. “Let me sit down, you couch hog.”

Lifting his legs up so Tony can sit down, Steve pulls himself up into a seat, his back resting against the arm of the couch and his socked feet pressing lightly against Tony’s thigh. “So what does Reed mean by that?”

“There was a blip, apparently,” Tony says. “In simple terms, he thinks we had a visitor from another universe. Not space universe, more like... an alternate timeline? Which is apparently a thing that we have, and lord help us if Reed ever wants to explore that properly because I don’t think even Sue could stop him and she’s the only one who can talk sense into him, so—”

“Tony,” Steve interrupts, holding a hand up. “So, it _was_ me? But me from another timeline? Does that mean Bucky is alive like he said?”

“I don’t know,” Tony says, tilting his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t even know how we’d begin to look into it, but we can try, if you want. There must be something—maybe Natasha could help, she has connections in, well, anywhere there’s a corrupt government. If he’s alive then there’s got to be a reason he hasn’t surfaced yet.”

“I don’t know what that reason could be,” Steve says, his mind turning over the information that they do have. “I—we made deals, didn’t we? America, I mean, after the war?”

“Yeah. What are you thinking?” Tony asks, looking at Steve, a curious expression on his face.

“If Bucky’s alive, then someone must have found him after he fell, and I don’t know how he could survive that, except—” Steve stops, a memory shooting to the forefront of his mind. “When I found him, the first time—”

“How many times did you lose this dude, Steve?”

“Shut up,” Steve says without heat. “He was in the medical wing, he wasn’t with the other men.”

“Hydra were keeping him separate.”

“And what’s the one thing we know Hydra were obsessed with?”

“You think they were giving him a version of the serum,” Tony says, staring at Steve. “You—if you’re right, then if Hydra are still around and have had their own super soldier for years, how could anyone not know?”

“They were a secret division of Nazis, Tony, they weren’t exactly advertising back in the forties. And if they do have him then maybe... maybe they don’t use him all the time, maybe they—Tony, this could go deeper.”

“That’s what she said,” Tony says, almost absently as he gets up from the couch. “But yeah, no, you—JARVIS?”

“Yes sir?”

“Get Natasha down here, if she’s not too busy sapping men of their will to live.” Tony hops back on his stool and leans forward, elbows resting on his thighs as he looks at Steve. “We do this, you might not like what we find.”

“I know.”

“Do you? Because when I found out that Obie was double dealing behind my back, it almost killed me. And that’s not even taking into account the fact he did try to kill me. Twice. Steve, there’s some rocks you don’t want to turn over.”

“Would you feel better if you hadn’t found out what Obie was doing?”

“No,” Tony says after a moment. “I guess I wouldn’t.”

There’s a swoosh as the doors to the workshop open, Natasha walking in wearing a hoodie and clutching a mug of coffee. “What’s going on?”

“Quick question,” Tony says. “What do you think the possibility of Hydra having a super soldier of their own is?”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Why do I think I’m not going to like where this is going?”

“Because you’re very perceptive.”

“What’s going on?” she asks as she sits on the couch, taking the space Tony vacated. “Come on, we all know there’s something weird going on here.”

Steve gets off the couch and picks up a ball, throwing it across the workshop, not thinking anything of it when Dum-E brings it back to him, but there’s a groan from Tony. “What?”

“You realise you’re going to have to do that for an hour now?”

“I don’t mind,” Steve says, smiling at Dum-E before throwing the ball again. He feels Tony’s eyes on him and he shrugs. “Gives me something to do.”

“Just don’t break anything.”

“Boys,” Natasha interrupts. “You brought me down here for a reason.”

“Super soldier,” Tony says, snapping his fingers. “Stumbled across anyone like that in your years?”

Natasha curls her legs underneath her and leans back against the couch cushions, her eyes darkening. “Possibly. I don’t know what you’re looking for, but—”

“What is it?”

“The Winter Soldier,” she says, unconsciously curling into herself a little. “Most people in my line of work don’t believe he exists, but he does. I’ve met him more than once, he’s very real. The last time I saw him, he shot through me to get to his target. If there’s anyone that could be what you’re looking for, then it’s him.”

“How do we find him?” Steve asks, taking the ball from Dum-E. “Nat?”

“You don’t,” Natasha says, taking a sip from her mug, her usual calm demeanour shaken. “And you hope he doesn’t find you.”

*

Steve’s still kind of wired by the time he tries to go to bed, and he’s awake when he hears a noise at his door. Getting out of bed, he opens the door and finds Natasha standing there. “Hey,” he says. “You okay?”

“You really want to find him?” Natasha asks, shifting lightly from foot to foot.

“I do,” Steve says, folding his arms across his chest. “You know how?”

“If it’s him, if he is The Winter Soldier, you’re not going to like what you find.”

“Tony said the same thing,” Steve says, leaning against the doorframe. “But if Bucky’s alive, even if—I have to find him. I have to _try_.”

Natasha’s quiet for a moment, looking him over, and Steve doesn’t know what she’s looking for. Her face softens slightly and she sighs. “I’ll help. If I can.”

“Thank you,” Steve says. “Really, I appreciate it.”

“Part of being a team, right?” Natasha says, the corner of her mouth turning up in a hesitant smile. “If we are all a team?”

“I think it’s going that way,” Steve says. “You good with that? Clint?”

“We’re adaptable.”

“A good way to be.”

“Sorry for stopping by so late.” 

“Wasn’t really sleeping,” Steve says with a shrug.

“You know, Tony’s still up,” Natasha says as she turns to walk away.

“Why would you—”

“Please,” Natasha says, looking over her shoulder with a small smile. “He’s in the kitchen.”

Steve waits until she’s out of view before he rubs a hand over his face and ducks back into his room. Tugging on a sweater, Steve wonders what he’s doing before shaking his head and heading to the kitchen on the communal floor. It’s a large room, bright and airy, with every kitchen gadget known to man and, knowing Tony, probably ones that aren’t. There’s a heavy wooden table for them all to sit at that Steve happens to know Tony’s reinforced to stand up to Steve and Thor’s strength, and that’s where he finds Tony. There’s a mug in front of him with some holographic blueprints in the air, and for a moment Steve just stands there and watches the way Tony’s hands move as he works.

“Hi,” Steve says from the doorway, walking in when Tony looks over. “What are you doing up?”

“Could ask you the same thing,” Tony says, swiping away the holographics as Steve sits down.

“Wasn’t asleep,” Steve says. “Natasha came to see me and said she, well, said she’d look into Bucky for me, and now I—”

“Really can’t sleep?”

Steve nods slowly. “Something like that. I have a meeting with SHIELD tomorrow.”

“Anything I should know?”

“They haven’t told me what it is,” Steve says. “So I don’t know.”

“Huh.”

“What are you thinking?”

“I don’t—” Tony breaks off, leaning back in his chair, and shrugs. “Okay, I’ve been thinking about your buddy, and if Hydra are still around, then they need a cover, they need a big cover. A cover that would get them access to information they need.”

“You think SHIELD have been infiltrated by Hydra? Tony—”

“I know,” Tony interrupts, holding a hand up. “It sounds ridiculous, but think about it, Hydra would want access to the highest levels of government. Things like the serum, Bruce’s research, Loki? That’s all information that SHIELD wouldn’t share with any other organisation because they’re too damn paranoid. It’s the only organisation Hydra would bother with.”

“Your dad founded SHIELD, so did Peggy,” Steve says. “If what you’re saying is true then—”

“My dad was an asshole, but he wasn’t Hydra,” Tony says. “And Aunt Peggy would’ve punched anyone with even a hint of Hydra in them.”

“You called her Aunt Peggy?” Steve asks, looking over at Tony. “I didn’t know—not that—” Steve cuts himself off and sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, the late hour catching up with him. “Her file said she was still alive?”

“Yeah,” Tony says softly. “She is. She’s got alzheimers, I visit her sometimes, she—well. She has good days, more bad ones lately.”

Steve goes quiet. He hasn’t been to visit her, he wants to, but it’s been hard enough, adjusting to this new world, and the idea of seeing Peggy like that—. “I’m a coward,” he says eventually. “For not going to see her. I’ve known where she is, but—”

“You’re not a coward,” Tony cuts in. “I invented a flying suit, and have more than one private jet, and do you know how many times I’ve been to visit her since I became Iron Man? Four. Four times. You’re not a coward for not visiting her yet, Steve. No more than I am.”

“Would you come with me?” Steve asks, looking down at the table instead of at Tony because he’s afraid of what he might see on Tony’s face. Judgement, maybe, or pity. Neither of which he’s comfortable being on the receiving end of. “To see her, I mean.”

“You’d want me to?”

“I think maybe it would be easier with a friend,” Steve says before he looks up. There’s the smallest hint of a smile on Tony’s face, and that gives Steve a little bit of confidence.

“A friend, okay. Sure, I’ll go with you,” Tony says, looking surprised. “Whenever you want.”

“Thank you,” Steve says, leaning back in his chair, keeping his gaze on Tony. “What do you think I should do about SHIELD?”

“Keep your ears and eyes open, there’s nothing else we can do,” Tony says with a heavy sigh. “Hey, question, if I’m right and Hydra are part of SHIELD, how do you know you can trust me?”

Steve presses his lips together, trying to figure out how to say it. “The other me? That note he left me? He told me to trust you.”

“And you took his word for it?”

“I did.”

“That’s either brave or stupid, and I’m not sure which one. Kind of leaning towards stupid, though.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Steve says, taken aback when Tony laughs. It lights up his entire face, making the stress he carries melt away, and Steve’s struck by the urge to make it happen again. “It—the note said what my mom would make me for my birthday,” he says, once Tony’s laughter dies down. “No one else would know that, no one alive, anyway. So I took a chance on believing him. Myself.”

“And you don’t think he would lie to you?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” Steve says. “But I’m pretty sure I’m reliable.”

“Yeah,” Tony says, offering Steve a smile. “I think that’s probably true.”

*

Steve wakes up early enough to head down to the gym before his meeting, there’s no one else there, and he gets to work trying to build up a sweat. Tony’s been working on getting the equipment up to scratch, but it’s not quite there yet and the punching bag breaks off in the middle of a set. He tells JARVIS to let Tony know how long that one lasted and switches to suicide runs before ending on push up variations until his muscles start to feel an ache. It’s not ideal, but the attention still hasn’t died down yet and Steve doesn’t want to risk going for a run.

After showering and getting dressed, Steve finds Tony in the kitchen, hunched over a mug at the table. Steve pauses, a fond feeling stirring in his chest even as he wonders if Tony’s moved since last night. “Tony?”

“Mmm?” Tony looks up from his coffee, blinking at Steve. “You going to SHIELD? You got your phone? Let me know if anything’s hinky.”

“Hinky?”

Tony makes a noise. “I’ve had one cup of coffee, Steve, give me a break.”

Steve laughs before he pours himself some coffee into a mug and sips it, enjoying the warmth of the liquid and the comfortable quiet lingering between him and Tony. Finishing it, he drops the mug in the sink before he checks his phone. “Gotta go,” Steve says. “I’ll let you know if there’s anything weird.” He hesitates as he passes Tony by, barely resisting running his hands over Tony’s rumpled hair before heading out of the kitchen.

The garage has a car service on call for their use, and Steve settles into the back seat of one of the cars. He doesn’t know what to expect from SHIELD now. If Tony’s suspicions are right, then he’s going to have to be on guard constantly, and that—.

Steve’s already exhausted at the thought of it. He sits back and watches the city pass him by, wondering how the hell he ended up in this position.

*

All the meeting with Fury reveals is how pissed off he is with the World Security Council, and Steve’s sure he didn’t need a meeting to figure that out. As he’s leaving Fury’s office, he sees Rumlow in conversation with another Strike Team member and he’s thrown when Rumlow nods at him and taps two fingers against his collar in a deliberate move. Steve returns the nod, and after he passes them, he hears Rumlow’s footsteps following him into the empty elevator.

“Pierce wants to see you,” Rumlow says quietly, but with all the confidence that Steve will be able to hear him. “Tonight. You’ll get a text with the information.”

Keeping his face neutral as he stares at the back of Rumlow’s head, Steve swallows. “I’ll be there,” he says.

Rumlow offers no more information before he gets off at the next floor.

Tamping down on the emotions flowing through his mind, Steve gets out when the elevator reaches the parking garage and, as much as he wants to call Tony, instead he switches his phone off and gets into the car.

It seems like forever before they make it back to the tower, and Steve heads straight for the workshop, thanking JARVIS as the doors open. Tony’s working on the armour when he walks in, one of the boots on the table in front of him and Steve steps into Tony’s eyeline. “Can people hack my phone?”

“I know you missed the eighties, but no one says hacked anymore,” Tony says, looking up and wiping his hands on his tank top. “Where did you learn that word?”

“Tony—”

“No, but really, where did you learn it?”

“A movie,” Steve says with a small smile as DUM-E rolls over to say hi. “Now answer my question.”

“No,” Tony says. “I mean nothing’s foolproof, but it’s a prototype for the next generation of StarkPhones, even if someone took it from you, they wouldn’t be able to get in. If you’re worried, I can—”

“I trust you,” Steve interrupts. “I just—I think your theory might be right. Rumlow followed me into the elevator and told me I have to meet with Pierce tonight, but protocol would be for Fury to tell me that. Fury didn’t even mention Pierce still being in New York.”

“So Fury probably isn’t involved,” Tony says. “I guess that’s something. But, still, if Pierce is involved this goes all the way to the top. Shit. You know, sometimes I wish I were wrong.”

Steve takes a hard look at Tony and sees how tired he is. He walks around the desk and tentatively rests his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Some.”

“Tony.”

“I’ve got a lot of work to do, Cap.”

“Don’t do that,” Steve says, squeezing Tony’s shoulder lightly before dropping his hand. “Don’t act like we’re not friends. You need to sleep, Tony, whatever work it is can wait.”

“I need to—”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t _need_ to do anything,” Steve says firmly. “Take a nap. Work will still be there when you’re done.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of the problem. I can’t stop, Steve, if I stop then—” Tony breaks off and shakes his head. “I can’t stop.”

Steve takes in the hunch of Tony’s shoulders, the exhaustion etched in his muscles, and he makes up his mind. “You’re really going to make me do this?”

“Do wha—hey! Put me down!”

Making sure he’s steady on his feet, Steve straightens up with Tony balanced over his shoulder. “Not happening,” he says, ignoring the light thumps from Tony’s fists on his back. “You need a nap.”

“I’m not a child,” Tony protests.

“I know,” Steve says, heading out of the workshop. “But you need to sleep, at least for a couple hours, and if you’re not going to listen to me, then—”

“You’re going to give me a really good view of your ass? Because that’s not a threat—”

“Tony.”

“I’m just saying,” Tony says, patting Steve’s ass, leading him to falter on his way to the elevator. “It’s a good ass.”

His cheeks heating up, Steve swallows and steps into the elevator, carefully still gripping Tony’s thighs. “Tony, I—”

“Can you put me down? I’m starting to feel dizzy and I don’t want to puke on you.”

“If you try and run off, I’ll come after you,” Steve says as he helps Tony slide to the floor. “Look, if I overstepped, then I’m sorry, but—”

“No, I—it’s fine,” Tony says as he adjusts his tank top from where it rode up. “I forget, sometimes.”

“To sleep? I know that.”

“That, uh, people care. People other than Rhodey and Pepper.”

Steve awkwardly scratches the back of his head before he meets Tony’s eyes. “I care,” he says. “I know you have work to do, and us invading your life only added to your workload, and I’m not trying to be a bother, but—”

“It’s okay,” Tony interrupts. “You’re not a bother. Pepper used to—I mean she used to be the one telling me to take care of myself, and now she’s gone I—well I didn’t expect anyone to pick up where she left off. JARVIS tries but there’s only so much he can do.”

“I don’t want you to end up hurting yourself because you’re too tired to function,” Steve says. “I want you to be safe.” Steve’s not sure how to take being compared to Pepper. He doesn’t exactly mind, given that she’s an exceptionally capable woman, but there’s an underlying meaning to it he can’t quite parse. His thoughts are cut off by the elevator opening, and he gestures at Tony to go ahead.

“Are you going to tuck me in?” Tony asks as Steve follows him down the hall.

“I’ll sit on you if it will make you stay in bed,” Steve says as they reach Tony’s bedroom.

Tony’s mouth falls open slightly for a split second before he flashes a grin at Steve. “I don’t think you on top of me would end in sleep, but we could try.”

“Maybe next time,” Steve says before he can think better of it, part of him wanting to see how Tony reacts. It’s nothing more than a softening of the grin, a slight widening of his eyes as if Tony’s surprised but satisfied, and Steve tentatively returns the smile. “Get some rest, please, I need you to be with me on this meeting later.”

The smile fades from Tony’s face at the reminder, and he nods. “I can’t come with you, and they’ll scan you,” he says. “They’ll take your phone.”

“Something tells me you might have a solution for that,” Steve says. “But it can wait. JARVIS?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Could you wake Tony up after three hours of sleep?”

“Of course, Captain.”

“Tony, get some rest. We’ve got time.”

“You know,” Tony says, as the door to his bedroom opens. “One day I’m going to make you use this commanding attitude on me with much more exciting results.”

The door closes before Steve can think of how to respond, and he shakes his head, fond smile still on his face. “JARVIS?”

“Mr Stark is getting ready for bed.”

“Well, that’s something,” Steve says. “Thank you, JARVIS.”

“Thank you, Captain Rogers.”

“JARVIS?”

“For caring about Mr Stark.”

“Oh,” Steve says, as he walks away from Tony’s room. “I—it’s not a bother.”

“And yet few have ever bothered.”

The way JARVIS says that makes Steve’s stomach twist and he stops in front of the elevator. “JARVIS? If Tony needs something, if he—I can trust you to use your best judgement, right?”

“You can, Captain.”

“Okay, right. If there’s something I can help with, that Tony wouldn’t ask for, please let me know.”

“That would be within my parameters, Captain,” JARVIS says, voice sounding almost pleased. “I will endeavour to do so.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Steve says. “I appreciate it.”

*

Steve startles when something lands in his lap, and he looks up to see Tony smiling. “What happened to those reflexes?” Tony asks as he drops down on the couch next to him.

“I was reading,” Steve says, picking up what Tony threw at him. “What’s this?”

“It’s a watch.”

“And?”

Tony’s practically vibrating with excitement as he takes it from Steve, turning it so Steve can see the sides of the face. “When you get through security, after you’re sure they’re done scanning you, make a show of checking the time. Put a slight amount of pressure on the edges and that will activate it so I’ll be able to hear you. It’ll also record everything you hear, and I’ll be able to track you, so you won’t ever be alone.”

Taking it back from Tony, Steve slips it on. There’s no visual difference to a regular watch that he can tell, and there’s definitely no weight difference. “You don’t think they’ll take it from me?”

“Can’t guarantee it, but anything else would either take too long to fabricate, or would have to be on all the time and would definitely get you caught, so we’ll take our chances with this.”

“If it doesn’t work, then—”

“Then we try again,” Tony says. “Steve, you can’t put this much pressure on yourself. All you have to do is convince Pierce that you’re Hydra, and no one knows Hydra better than you.”

“Maybe back then I knew them, but if they’ve worked their way into SHIELD, they’re more powerful than they were,” Steve says. “I don’t even know why they think I’m Hydra.” 

“You’re right,” Tony says. “It’s weird that they think you’re Hydra. Do you think your alternate universe double was Hydra?”

Steve pauses before shaking his head. “No, no, but maybe he did something to make them think he was? I don’t know.”

“Well, they don’t need to know that you don’t know,” Tony says. “And like I said, you won’t be alone. Just, and I realise the irony of me saying this, but be careful.”

“Promise,” Steve says, offering Tony a small smile.

“Guess I’ll have to take that,” Tony says, squeezing Steve’s knee. “Good luck.”

*

Wanting to stay as undercover as possible, Steve passes on taking a car and instead hops on the subway and weaves his way to the Bronx, following the instructions sent to his phone. It’s a nondescript building, and he there’s no outward signs of anything suspicious happening, but then he wasn’t really expecting there to be. Steve looks around a little before walking towards the entrance, and when he pushes at the door he’s surprised that it opens without a fuss.

“Over here, Cap,” comes Rumlow’s voice, and Steve looks over to see him waiting by an elevator. “Need to scan you.”

“Nice building,” he says, as he walks over.

“Relax, we’re just borrowing it for the night,” Rumlow says as he waves a scanner over Steve. There’s a beep when it passes over Steve’s phone, and he takes it out of his pocket when Rumlow holds out his hand.

“Don’t you trust me?” Steve asks as he hands it over.

“You’ll get it back afterwards.”

“If I don’t, I know who to blame.”

Rumlow rolls his eyes before he hits a button. The elevator doors open and Steve steps inside, slightly surprised when Rumlow doesn’t join him. “It’ll take you to the eighth floor,” Rumlow says. “I’ll be right here with your phone.”

Steve doesn’t move a muscle until the elevator reaches its destination, and when the doors open, Pierce is there to meet him. Stepping out of the elevator, Steve shakes Pierce’s hand when it’s offered but otherwise doesn’t say a word, quietly following Pierce as he leads him towards a desk. Pierce takes the seat behind it and gestures to the other one, but Steve ignores it. Instead he checks his watch like Tony told him, and puts pressure on the sides to activate it before he finally meets Pierce’s steady gaze.

“Well,” Pierce says. “Who would’ve thought that you, of all people, would be on our side. I wouldn’t have believed it if Sitwell hadn’t heard it himself. Captain America, part of Hydra.” There’s a pause, and Steve doesn’t speak, waiting to hear what else Pierce is going to say. “I’m not sure I do believe it,” Pierce says, finally. “In fact, I know I don’t.”

“It doesn’t matter what you believe,” Steve says. “I’m not here to prove my loyalty to you, and if you want to make me, well. Try it. See what happens.”

“Ease off, soldier,” Pierce says. “This isn’t a test.”

“Isn’t it? You drag me down here and then say you don’t believe I am who I say I am? If you’re trying to test me, you’ll be the ones failing. Like I said, I’m not here to prove my loyalty.”

“Then why did you come?”

“Call it curiosity,” Steve says, setting his jaw. “I wanted to know who in SHIELD could be trusted.”

“And how did you know Sitwell was involved? I never gave the order for him to tell you.”

“He’s not as subtle as you’d like to think.”

Pierce makes a thoughtful noise and leans back in his chair. “Right. Well. This was enlightening. I’ll be in contact.”

“I won’t wait up,” Steve says, before turning and heading to the elevator. It’s waiting for him, and Steve tries not to show what he’s feeling on his face as he gets in. Rumlow’s standing there when the elevator doors open at the lobby, and Steve holds his hand out for his phone.

“Manage to convince him?” Rumlow asks, a nasty smile on his face as he holds the phone out.

“That’s not your concern,” Steve says, taking his phone and pocketing it.

“See you around, Captain,” Rumlow calls after him as Steve walks out of the building.

Conscious of the fact they might still be watching him, Steve walks to the nearest bodega and absently buys a Gatorade and a protein bar, his mind racing. He wants to call Tony and check in, to hear his voice, but if they’re still watching him then he knows he can’t. Ripping the cap off the bottle, Steve starts to drink it as he walks out of the bodega, heading to the subway. All he wants is to go home.

*

Tony’s there when Steve finally gets back to the tower, sitting on the couch with a tablet in his hand and Steve lets himself be grateful for the fact he has someone to come home to, even if it’s—. Well. Complicated. He walks over and sits on the couch, slumping back against the cushions. Fiddling with the watch he takes it off and drops it in Tony’s lap. “Thanks,” he says.

“That sucked,” Tony says as he picks up the watch with a free hand. “Steve, I—”

“Yeah,” Steve says, rubbing a hand over his face. “I hate this. Pierce is running Hydra, at least this branch of it. Rumlow, probably the whole Strike Team is Hydra. Sitwell too. The only people I’m sure aren’t Hydra are in this building. And Thor.”

“I’m sorry.”

Steve glances over at Tony. “Not your fault.”

“I know,” Tony says. “But, I mean, we find you, make you fight again, and you discover that the whole self sacrifice thing was kind of pointless since Hydra are still alive and well.”

“You really know how to brighten my mood,” Steve says, looking over at him. “It’s not that I thought all the evil in the world went away when I crashed into the water, but Hydra still being around? Bucky possibly being an assassin? Not exactly what I expected from the future.”

“Guess you must be pretty disappointed,” Tony says, putting his tablet down.

“Sometimes, sure,” Steve says honestly, a tired smile on his face. “But there’s still good out there. Vaccines, people still look out for each other, the food’s better. What we do makes a difference, or will make a difference, I have to believe that. And I see people out there fighting everyday to make a better world. That gives me hope.”

“Not all bad, then?”

Steve laughs. “No, not all bad. I mean maybe there could be quicker progress with gay rights, but—”

“I think Fox News just imploded and doesn’t know why,” Tony says. “Which I’d be okay with.”

“Me too,” Steve says, watching Tony carefully as they both fall quiet. He can feel his skin heating up as he waits, knowing Tony won’t ignore the implications of what he’s said.

“So you—” Tony pauses. “Not that you have to be to support, and you don’t have to tell me, but—”

“Yeah,” Steve says, cutting off Tony’s awkward ramblings. “Yes. I mean I always—” He stops, trying to find the words for what he wants to say. “I loved Peggy, I did, but I—”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”

“No, it’s—I’ve been thinking about it since I woke up,” he says. “I loved Peggy, but I don’t know if we would’ve had a life together if I hadn’t gone in the water. I don’t know how we would’ve worked. I wanted it to, I really did, but back then I was a symbol, and—” Steve breaks off, his eyes starting to sting. “I don’t mean to put this on you,” he says. “I haven’t talked to anyone about this, I don’t even know how to put it into words.”

“Hey, I’m the last one to judge,” Tony says. “If all you want is to get it out, I’ll sit here and work and ignore everything you say.”

“That’s quite an offer,” Steve says, knocking his knee against Tony’s and smiling when Tony looks at him. “I’m okay. Could we—Natasha wants to take me to lunch after training tomorrow, but can we get dinner this week?”

Tony’s eyes widen. “Sure,” he says after a moment. “You mean going out somewhere, right?”

“I’ll even let you pick the place.”

“Okay, okay, yeah,” Tony says, nodding to himself. “Dinner.”

“Good,” Steve says. “You want to watch a movie?”

“Now?”

Steve shrugs. “I’ve got a lot to catch up on. JARVIS?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“Play something from my list? Something Tony likes?”

The big screen flicks on, and Steve glances over at Tony as the movie starts. “If you’ve got work to do—”

“No,” Tony says suddenly. “No, I’m—this is good.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, feeling comforted by the length of Tony’s body next to him after his long day. “This is good.”

*

Steve groans as Natasha throws him on the mat, his hands automatically coming up to block her strike to his face before he pushes her off him. When he gets to his feet, he faces off with her, and Steve would swear there’s almost a smile on Natasha’s face.

“This is fun,” Natasha says, raising an eyebrow as she drops her stance. “You don’t whine like Clint does when I hit him.”

“If I whine you’ll just hit me harder,” Steve says, wiping the sweat from his brow.

“Then you’ve managed to work out what Clint never did,” she says, padding over to the fridge and taking out two Gatorades. “Here,” she says, handing one over to Steve. “Rehydrate before lunch. Shower, meet me in the lobby in thirty minutes.”

“Sounds good,” Steve says, taking the bottle and draining it as Natasha walks out of the gym. After putting away the gear from earlier, Steve leaves the gym and heads up to his room where he quickly showers and gets dressed. Snagging a baseball cap from his dresser, Steve heads down to the lobby where he finds Natasha waiting for him.

“Nice hat,” Natasha says, reaching up and flicking the brim. “Your boyfriend give you that?”

“What?”

“Not exactly subtle with the Stark Industries logo across it,” she says with a small smile as they walk out of the building, Steve following her lead.

“And I don’t spend my days shopping for clothes,” Steve says. “It’s what I had.”

“Relax,” she says. “I don’t think anyone is looking to you for fashion advice. But I’m sure Tony would help you out if that’s your thing.”

“I don’t—what thing?” Steve sticks his hands in his pockets and ducks his head as they pass by a crowd of people.

Natasha stops to look at him when they turn a corner. “Are you okay?”

“Sure.”

“You’re not a good liar.”

“I’m hungry is what I am,” Steve says, continuing to walk. “Where’s this food truck you promised me.”

“You’ll get to shove Greek food in your mouth soon,” Natasha says, seamlessly slipping in back at his side. “Is this about Bucky?”

“No. Maybe. I don’t know,” Steve sighs. “I don’t know what to do if I’m right and he is the Winter Soldier.”

“He’s not someone you have a conversation with, that’s for sure, but—” Natasha cuts herself off. “Never mind.”

“What?”

“Hey, food truck,” she says, gesturing to the busy crowd. “We can eat.”

Steve lets her get away with the deflection because the smells coming off the food truck are mouthwatering and by the time they get to the ordering station he feels like he could eat everything on the truck. He lets Natasha order for him, slightly overwhelmed by the amount of choice, and ends up with an entire platter of meat, pita, and salad. Taking their food to nearby steps, they sit down and start to eat.

Steve waits until Natasha’s eaten half of her gyro before he starts in again. “What were you going to say, before? About the Winter Soldier.”

Wiping her mouth with a napkin, Natasha frowns. “You don’t give up do you?”

“Call it a flaw.”

She looks around before she takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “When he shot me? That wasn’t the only time I met him,” she says. “When I was younger, before Clint got me out, I was—well. I wasn’t doing nice wholesome things like this. Winter Soldier and I had been sent after the same mark, and we ended up at a crossroads when the mark went into hiding.”

“What happened?”

“It seemed like—” Natasha cuts herself off and bites her lip before continuing. “I think his programming wore off? Like the longer he was away from them, the more he could be something other than what they made him to be.”

“You think they’ve got him brainwashed.”

“All I know is the next time I saw him, he shot me without an ounce of recognition.”

Steve takes this in around a mouthful of pita. “So,” he says after swallowing. “If we can rescue him then—”

“Even if we can, he’s going to have to make peace with what he’s done,” Natasha says. “And that won’t be easy.”

“I’ll talk to Tony about it,” Steve says absently as he looks down at what he has left of his food. “He’ll have some ideas.”

“Sure,” Natasha says. “You’ll talk to Tony.”

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“Steve, come on,” Natasha says. “You two have got very close very quickly.”

“That’s—I don’t—” Steve breaks off and sighs. “He gave us all somewhere to live,” he says. “He tries his hardest to fix everything he can, even when it’s to the detriment of his own health, and he’s so smart. I don’t know how I couldn’t—”

“Develop a huge crush on him?” Natasha interrupts.

Steve rolls his eyes and throws a balled up napkin at her. “How about we leave my personal life out of this?”

“I’m just glad you have a personal life,” Natasha says. “This can be a lonely job.”

“Not anymore,” Steve says. “This is about all of us.”

“God, you’re annoyingly cheerful sometimes,” Natasha says, but Steve can see the slight upturn of her mouth.

“Hey, Nat?” Steve asks as they stand up. “If we do find him, are you—with your history, are you going to be comfortable with it?”

Natasha pauses on the second to last step. “I’ve learnt to be comfortable with a lot of things, Steve, don’t worry about me.”

“Tough,” Steve says, as he dumps their mess in the trash can before looking at her with a small smile. “Because I’m gonna.”

*

That evening, Tony doesn’t get home until late, and Steve’s still awake when Tony walks onto the main floor from the elevator. Turning his head to greet him, Steve notices how exhausted Tony looks, his tie loose around his neck and his suit jacket crumpled in his hands.

“Hey,” Steve says, putting down his book. “Come and sit down.”

“Mmmf,” Tony says as he walks over and drops onto the couch, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. “Sometimes I really hate being me,” he says. “Not often, but sometimes.”

“What happened? JARVIS said you were in DC.”

“Yeah. You ever tried explaining Thor and Loki to a bunch of Washington suits?”

Steve laughs softly. “No,” he says. “And I’m guessing that I don’t want to.”

“It’s frustrating,” Tony says, rubbing his eyes before he straightens up. “They’re all ‘how do you know Thor’s not going to try and invade like his brother did?’ I don’t know, Senator, maybe because he helped save the world at least twice that we know of? Which is a damn sight more times than you’ve ever done? Asshole. Bet he’s Hydra.”

“I’ve seen how government works, I’m not taking that bet,” Steve says as he watches the shower of Tony’s eyelashes fall over his cheekbones, taking note of the dark circles under his eyes that he could mistake for bruises. “Were you in DC all day?”

“Pretty much,” Tony says. “Left this morning on the jet, so that was, what? JARVIS?”

“Roughly fourteen hours ago, sir.”

“That,” Tony says. “And now I’m here, and exhausted.”

“Then maybe you should go to bed.”

Tony huffs and rubs a hand over his hair. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he says. “But, hey, dinner? Tomorrow evening?”

“If you sleep, then yes, dinner. I’d like that.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Tony says with a slight smile. “But I can’t argue. How were the kids?”

“They’re not our kids,” Steve says. “And they were fine. Clint left on a mission with SHIELD, Bruce has been in his lab, and Natasha isn’t comfortable with the idea of Bucky coming here if we find him.”

“Oh,” Tony says. “Do we need to be worried?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says with a heavy sigh. “She says she’ll learn to be comfortable, but that’s—she shouldn’t have to do that.”

“Okay.”

Steve pauses, glancing at Tony. “It’s—am I doing more bad than good by wanting to track him down?” Steve asks, almost scared of what the answer will be. “Getting rid of Hydra is important, I know that, but—”

“Hey, no, he was your friend,” Tony says, reaching over and covering Steve’s hand with his own. “You don’t have to feel guilty about that.”

“I don’t even know the things he’s done,” Steve says in a small voice. “What if—” He breaks off and swallows, looking down at Tony’s hand, his mind cataloguing all the small scars he can see on Tony’s skin.

“What?”

“What if I’m just doing this because I miss my life before the ice? If he is what we think he is then he’s not even the same person I knew, what if—what if he can’t be made whole when we find him?”

“Steve?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think I’m the only one who needs to get some sleep,” Tony says, squeezing Steve’s hand.

“You’re probably right.”

“Had to happen at some point.”

Steve looks at him, meeting Tony’s gaze, and Steve would swear the atmosphere around them thickens. Turning his hand over, Steve links their fingers together, the warmth of Tony’s rough palm against his making him feel things he didn’t know he was allowed to feel. “You’ve been right before,” he says quietly, not sure if he can get the words out. “About me. About what I want, who I am.”

“Steve—”

“If you—I mean, I thought that maybe—”

“Oh. _Oh_ ,” Tony says, almost under his breath. “I—yes. Yeah.”

“If you want, I thought dinner tomorrow could—” Steve breaks off and shakes his head. “I have no idea what I’m doing here,” Steve says, squeezing Tony’s hand lightly. “I hope you know that.”

“If you think I’m any better, you’re going to be disappointed,” Tony says. “There’s a laundry list of reasons laying out why you shouldn’t even be friends with me, let alone—”

“Wanting to date you?”

“Yes, that.”

“I don’t care about that,” Steve says. “You’re the person who’s made this century feel most like home, and, before you start thinking it, I’m not doing this because I think I owe you, or whatever your brain will cook up, I just—I like you, Tony. And I want to see where this goes.”

“Wow,” Tony says. “I—people don’t say things like that about me, especially not to my face.”

“Well. I mean it,” Steve says, his face heating up. “You’re one of my favourite things about this century.”

“I wouldn’t go telling the public that,” Tony says, and Steve can see a slight flush appearing on Tony’s neck. “They’d want to scan you to make sure your brain isn’t atrophying.”

“I’ll tell whoever I want to tell,” Steve says, raising an eyebrow.

“Your stubbornness will be the death of me,” Tony says, a smile on his face that Steve’s never seen before. “I’m too tired to argue with you. Dinner, tomorrow?”

“It’s a date,” Steve says before he can overthink it.

“Yeah,” Tony says, letting go of Steve’s hand and standing up. “It is.”

Steve’s heart is pounding against his chest as he watches Tony stumble off towards his bedroom, and once Tony’s out of sight he sits there, staring across the room at the night sky coming through the windows. “A date,” he mumbles to himself. “Oh shit.” 

*

It turns out that when there aren't major disasters, there’s not much for Steve to do. He’s been deflecting Fury trying to get him on SHIELD missions given his suspicions about Hydra, guilting Fury into believing he’s still adjusting to the new world, but he’s not sure how long that’s going to last. It's not a lie, really, he is still adjusting, it’s just not as hard as he’s telling Fury it is.

Natasha shoots him looks whenever he turns down a mission from Fury, and Steve wonders if she suspects that he’s keeping something from her. It’s not that he doesn’t trust her, or Clint, but nothing’s confirmed and the more people who know about it, the more they risk it getting out and Steve doesn’t want to know how Hydra would react to that.

So Steve’s left to find ways to occupy his days, and there’s only so many times he can visit the gym to test new equipment for Tony. There’s things he wants to catch up on, but movies are a little less interesting without Tony by his side making comments, and he’s too restless to sit and read a book. JARVIS makes a comment about his pacing wearing a hole in the carpet and Steve laughs, realising he’s being ridiculous. Taking it as a hint to burn off some energy, Steve grabs a jacket and heads out of the tower.

The thing Steve has always appreciated about New York is how easy it is to get lost in the crowd. There’s a few people who look at him curiously, a couple nods of recognition, but for the most part people leave him alone now. Even the paparazzi got bored once they realised Steve really didn’t do anything worth reporting on, he can’t imagine that photos of him walking the streets with Starbucks in his hand are worth much money after the first thirty.

Steve stops by a hot dog cart and buys some street meat, wolfing it down as he continues walking, taking in the ways that Manhattan has changed, and the ways that it hasn’t. Sometimes when he walks he heads down to the LES and crosses over the bridge to Brooklyn, but not today. He’s all too aware of how easy it is for him to get lost in his head when he’s in Brooklyn, the memories hitting him a little harder some days, and he doesn’t want to be distracted when he meets Tony for dinner later.

It’s a market day in Union Square, and he picks up some snacks along with some apple cider before settling in a quiet spot in the park to people watch. When he’s finished his food, he takes out the small sketchbook in his pocket and a pencil, and sets about challenging himself to do quick sketches of people who pass him by. It’s grounding, Steve likes the way sitting in the square on a busy day lets him be part of the modern world without having to actually interact with people. There’s some teenagers dancing a little way away, and Steve concentrates on trying to capture their movements, the fluidity of their bodies, attempting to make them come to life in his little book.

Time passes, and he’s almost finished with a sketch of two men and their baby having a small picnic when his phone buzzes in his pocket. Closing his sketchbook, Steve fishes his phone out and there’s a warmth in his chest when he sees a photo of Tony flashing on the screen.

Tapping the screen, he holds it to his ear. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Tony says. “Where are you?”

“Union Square Park,” Steve says, getting up to stretch his legs. He walks towards the market and stops at one of the stalls. “Hey, you want a muffin?”

“Sure,” Tony says, bemusement in his voice. “Are you done? I mean, are you doing something?”

“Killing time,” Steve says, taking the muffins from the stallholder and mouthing his thanks. “Why?”

“Turn around.”

Steve frowns, and turns on his heel, scanning the park before he spots Tony. “Something wrong?”

“No,” Tony says. “Just finished for the day, figured I’d track you down.”

“That interesting, am I?” Steve asks, watching as Tony walks over quickly. “Needed to hunt me down instead of doing anything productive?”

“Rude,” Tony says as he reaches Steve. “I’ve been plenty productive.”

Steve smiles as he ends the call, slipping his phone back in his pocket. Holding the bag out, he shrugs. “Better than me,” he says. “Have a muffin.”

“Thanks,” Tony says, tucking his phone away before he sticks his hand in the bag and takes one, breaking off a bit and stuffing it in his mouth. “Oh these are good,” he says around his mouthful.

“Why do you think I walk all the way down here?”

“Bored?”

“Well,” Steve says, shrugging. “You’re not wrong. Apparently when the world isn’t ending, I don’t have much to do.”

“I think you’re allowed some time off, considering everything.”

“Be easier if I knew what to do with it.”

“Spa weekend?”

“Tony—”

“There’s a hotel over the street that does an amazing hot stone massage, give me five minutes and I’ll get you booked in.”

Steve laughs. “I don’t want a spa weekend,” he says. “I wouldn’t be opposed to a massage, but not from a stranger.”

“Good to know,” Tony says, and there’s a look in his eye that makes Steve’s entire body heat up.

“We were going to get dinner, right?” Steve asks, in a desperate attempt to change the subject before his pants start feeling too tight.

“We are,” Tony says. “If you’re done here, want a ride back to the tower? We’ve got time before the reservation.”

“You’re not taking me somewhere fancy, are you?” Steve asks as they fall into step walking to the car Tony has idling near the square.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Tony says. “I’ll go easy on you, I promise.”

“Not too easy, I hope,” Steve says, smiling to himself as he slides into the car.

“You—” Tony scrambles to follow him, almost falling into Steve’s lap. “You’re going to be trouble.”

“Only just figuring that out?” Steve asks, looking over at him. “Thought you were a genius.”

“Trouble,” Tony reiterates. “You—you’re trouble.”

*

Dinner is at a small, family run Italian place where the owner greets Tony by name. Once they’re seated, Steve listens with interest as Luca tells Steve the story of how Tony met his father at a conference and sponsored his visa, how he made sure the rest of the family were able to join him, and how that led to Luca opening the restaurant. There’s a flush creeping up Tony’s neck as Luca speaks, and Steve nudges him with his foot, shooting him a smile.

“Luca, you’re embarrassing me,” Tony says eventually, fiddling with the silverware. “How about you bring us whatever’s good tonight and go harass some other customers.”

“See,” Luca says to Steve with a fond smile. “Never likes to admit what a good man he is.”

“Your father helped develop our intellicrops,” Tony says. “He’s done more for people around the world than I have, I would’ve been a fool not to hire him.”

“Sure,” Luca says. “You keep saying that. Iron Man.”

Steve takes in the look on Tony’s face as Luca walks away. “You really don’t like it when people compliment you, do you?”

“I don’t see the need,” Tony says with a shrug. “I do what I can, and sure, accolades are nice, but—”

“What?” Steve asks when Tony hesitates.

“They don’t mean anything. I’ve had awards from more places than I can count, but do any of them actually mean anything? Did they change anything for the better? No. Luca’s father? He worked on a project that meant we could develop ways to grow food in inhospitable climates. That’s worth complimenting.”

“You hired him.”

“If I hadn’t, someone else would’ve,” Tony says. “All I did was offer a good salary and the opportunity to make a difference.”

“Guess I’ll just have to make you see what I see when I look at you,” Steve says, reaching for his glass of water and taking a sip.

“Steve—”

“What?” Steve asks, placing his glass back down.

“Nothing,” Tony says. “Just—you’re different.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Steve says, noticing Luca coming over with the food.

“You should.”

Steve goes quiet as he watches Tony thank Luca for the food, the candlelight making Tony’s eyes shine, and he’s suddenly hit with the realisation he could very easily fall in love with Tony.

“Steve?” Tony asks, shaking Steve from his thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“You were staring,” Tony says, casting an amused look Steve’s way.

“I—it’s nothing,” Steve says. He shakes his head and looks down at his plate. “This looks amazing.”

“Best Italian food outside Italy,” Tony says. “But don’t tell Luca I said that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Steve says with a smile. “I’m just happy you didn’t take me somewhere I’d have to work out what fork to use with which dish.”

“I only do that to people I don’t like,” Tony says. “Not people who I, uh—”

“Date?”

“That.”

“Nicest date I’ve ever had,” Steve says, twirling the pasta on his fork. “Not that, well, people weren’t exactly lining up to date me back in the day.”

“But you were adorable,” Tony protests. “I’ve seen the pictures, you might’ve been small, but you—I would’ve dated you.”

“Tony—that’s—” Steve’s cheeks heat up and he ducks his head. “You don’t have to say that.”

“I never have to say anything, but I do anyway,” Tony says, putting his fork down and reaching across the table to take Steve’s hand. “Steve, I can’t tell you the amount of people who have tried to date me because I’m Tony Stark, and I mean that literally because I can’t be bothered to do the math. For the record, you were hot before the serum. The muscles are great, sure, not going to complain, but I’m more interested in Steve Rogers than Captain America. And you’ve always been Steve Rogers.”

Steve’s fairly sure his face is bright red and he doesn’t know how to respond to Tony’s words. He squeezes Tony’s hand before he looks up, taken aback by the fire in Tony’s eyes. “Thank you,” Steve says quietly, letting go of Tony’s hand. “That—thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Tony says, picking his fork back up. “I’m also gonna want to see how far down that blush goes one day. Just so you know.”

Steve laughs, feeling a lot lighter than he did five minutes ago, and he nods. “Okay,” he says. “One day.”

*

“I was thinking next week,” Tony says, dropping a magazine in Steve’s lap as he sits down. “If you’re not too busy with Nat, that is.”

Steve glances at the magazine, making a face when he sees the headline. “You have to stop showing me these rags,” he says.

“You mean you haven’t knocked Nat up?”

“Tony—”

“Relax.”

Steve lifts an arm up as Tony leans in against his side, and smiles when Tony makes a satisfied noise as Steve pulls him in close. “Hi,” Steve says. “What about next week?”

“Visiting Peg,” Tony says. “If you want.”

“Oh,” Steve says, his fingers catching on a piece of loose thread on Tony’s t-shirt. “That’s really soon.”

“I can rearrange it, if you want,” Tony says quietly. “But I think she’d like to see you.”

Steve swallows against the sudden dryness of his throat. “Does she—was she told that I’m alive?”

“Yes,” Tony says. “She knows. It depends on how she is, whether she remembers, but she was told. She gets told whenever she forgets. I make sure she does.”

“Okay,” Steve says. “Okay, that’s good.”

“It’s okay that I did this, right?” Tony asks suddenly, sitting up and dislodging Steve’s arm. “Organised it without telling you? You’d tell me if it wasn’t?”

“What? Yes, Tony, I love that you did this,” Steve says, reaching for Tony’s hand and threading their fingers together. “I still haven’t—I don’t know what I’m going to say to her.”

“She had a good life, if that helps,” Tony says. “And I’m sure she can’t wait to tell you stories about me as a child, so that’ll cover a lot of time, Aunt Peg loves to embarrass me.”

“I want to hear those stories,” Steve says with a smile.

“I’m sure you do,” Tony says. “Steve, she—I think she just wants to know you’re okay. That you’ll be okay.”

“Oh,” Steve says. “I don’t—how can I tell her that when I don’t even know myself? Not that—I didn’t mean that I don’t—” Steve sighs. “I’m screwing this up.”

“You’re not,” Tony says. “As much as I would love to think I’ve singlehandedly given your life meaning, I know it’s more complicated than that or you.”

“You make me happy,” Steve says. “That means something. It means a lot.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want you to think that—” Steve breaks off and looks down at where their hands are intertwined for a moment before looking back up and meeting Tony’s soft gaze. “You know, SHIELD gave me all kinds of pamphlets, but there isn’t one for this. There’s nothing that tells me what to do when I wake up and think I can still smell my mom’s cooking. There’s nothing that tells me how to cope when I wake up freezing from a nightmare about being back under the ice. I can’t wave a wand and have any of this vanish, no one can.”

“I get it,” Tony says. “You know I do. I just—I want you to be happy.”

“This helps,” Steve says as he holds their hands up for a moment before bringing them back down. “You—knowing that you’re here with me, it helps. And I’m trying.”

“I know you are,” Tony says, biting his bottom lip. “You know, if you’re having trouble sleeping, then—”

“What?” Steve furrows his brow at the way Tony’s avoiding his eyes. “What are you—”

“My bed is really big,” Tony says in a rush. “If you want to—if you’d sleep better with someone there, then—”

“Oh.”

“We’re not there yet, I know, but I—”

Steve’s so overwhelmed by the offer he doesn’t know what to say, and the only thing he can think to do is lean in and cut off Tony’s apologetic rambles with a kiss. Their _first_ kiss. It’s slightly awkward, having caught Tony with his mouth open in the middle of speaking, but then Steve cups the back of Tony’s neck, tilts his head a little more and—. Suddenly it’s the best thing Steve’s experienced since he woke up. Tony’s soft lips against his stirs something low in Steve’s gut, and he wants Tony even closer. Wants to pull him onto his lap and not leave room for any doubt about Tony being Steve’s favourite thing in the future.

Tony’s the one to break the kiss, his chest rising and falling with every breath he takes as he stares as Steve, his eyes wide, and Steve’s suddenly terrified by the thought he’s done this too soon.

“Why weren’t we doing that before?” Tony asks, brushing his fingers over his mouth. “Shit, Steve, I—wow.”

“Good wow?” Steve asks, as Tony moves closer to him, practically sprawling over Steve’s lap.

“Yeah, yes,” Tony says, his hands on Steve’s face, fingertips tracing over Steve’s lips. “We’re doing that again.”

And Steve can’t find a reason to say no.

*

Steve walks into the tower, sweat dripping down the back of his neck from his run, and he makes his way to the kitchen on the communal floor. The sun’s barely up so he doesn’t expect to see anyone in there, but instead everyone’s in there, and it’s only the fact that Tony’s there, half asleep and slumped on the table that stops him from turning on his heel and heading to his own floor.

He dodges Nat hitting Clint with a spatula and slips into the chair next to Tony, taking the opportunity to kiss his cheek.

“That better be Steve because I’m not having anyone else’s mouth on me,” Tony says, lifting his head off the table and unconsciously leaning towards Steve.

“Good to know,” Steve says, resting his hand at the base of Tony’s spine, his fingers lightly stroking the strip of skin exposed above Tony’s waistband. “Morning.”

Tony hums, his eyes opening as he rests a hand on Steve’s thigh. “I guess.”

Taking the two mugs of coffee Bruce offers, Steve smiles at him. “Thanks.”

“Clint got back just after you left to go running,” Bruce says in explanation. “Set off the alarms.”

“How? I thought the building was coded to us.”

“Birdbrain forgot that,” Tony mumbles against Steve’s neck. “I don’t know what he did but it woke everyone up.”

“And you couldn’t go back to sleep?” Steve asks, holding a mug under Tony’s nose in the hopes of coaxing him awake.

“Nope,” Tony says as he lifts his head. “Oh, coffee.”

“Tony—”

“I’ll nap on the plane,” he says, taking the mug from Steve. “I’ll be fully conscious for Peg, don’t worry.”

“That’s not what I was going to say,” Steve says, watching Tony drain his coffee before he tries to steal Steve’s mug. “You can’t have my coffee.”

“Rude.”

“Uh huh,” Steve says, hiding a smile behind the rim of his mug. “You hate me, I know.”

“Bite me.”

“Just so you know,” Clint says, an imprint of a spatula standing out on his face amongst the other bruises and cuts from his last mission. “You two are disgusting.”

Tony makes a wounded noise and huddles closer to Steve. “You should feel lucky I’m allowing you to live,” he says, shooting a glare at Clint. “Your new arrows are being put on the back burner,” he continues as Bruce hands him a refilled mug of coffee. “Bruce, however, will be getting stretchy Hulk pants as soon as I can make them.”

Bruce lets out a quiet laugh. “Thanks, Tony, I think we’ll all appreciate that.”

Steve’s arm curls around Tony’s waist as they both drink their coffee, Steve soaking in the warmth radiating from Tony’s body while he half listens to Clint talking about the mission he just got back from. “Wait,” he says. “Clint, go back, what happened?”

“Someone had tipped them off,” Clint repeats with a shrug. “At least, that’s what we assumed. Nothing there but a bomb, which we narrowly escaped. Never seen anything like it before.”

“Any idea who tipped them?”

“SHIELD kept this one pretty under wraps,” Clint says. “Unless there’s a leak, not sure how it happened.”

Steve keeps his face neutral, but he can feel Tony going stiff next to him, and he taps his fingers against Tony’s hip. “Glad you got out okay,” he says before lifting his mug and finishing his coffee. “Tony, what time are we leaving?”

“Huh? Oh, soon? JARVIS filed the flight plan,” he says, picking up his phone.

Natasha looks between them, her eyes narrowing. “Where are you going?”

“To visit Peggy Carter,” Tony says, fingers flicking over his phone screen. “Steve hasn’t seen her yet, and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Aunt Peg, so we’re doing a road trip.”

“Generally a road trip doesn’t involve a private plane,” Steve says, leaning back in his chair. “But sure.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony says, turning to look at him. “Did you want to cram your sizable frame into a car for five hours? Because we can, if you’re complaining.”

“Did I say I was complaining?”

“You weren’t exactly being enthusiastic about the use of my personal private jet.”

“Wow. Didn’t realise you’d got married,” Natasha says before taking a sip of her tea.

“That’s low, Romanoff,” Tony says. “Real low.”

Steve laughs before he kisses the top of Tony’s head. “I’m going to shower. Get JARVIS to tell me when we have to leave.”

*

Steve’s not stalling. He’s not.

Except he kind of is.

Tony’s taken a seat on a bench by the entrance to Peggy’s building and Steve can see him fiddling on his phone as he patiently waits for Steve to get his shit together. Just knowing he’s there is—Steve appreciates it more than he can say. If Tony hadn’t come with him, Steve would’ve just turned around and gone home, if he’d even made it this far to begin with.

It’s not that Steve doesn’t want to see Peggy, he does. He really does. He wants to hear her tell stories from the life she got to live, he wants to listen to her talk about all she’s seen in the decades Steve missed, and he really wants to know what she can tell him about Tony as a kid.

But.

There’s part of him that’s terrified to see her. A part of him that worries that maybe seeing him will cause her a kind of pain that Steve’s not ready to be responsible for.

Going down in the ice wasn’t easy, but when he made that choice, he didn’t have to see the fallout for the people around him. The ones he spent every day with in the war, the people he loved and cared for. He didn’t have to live with the knowledge of causing that pain.

Until today.

Taking a deep breath, Steve walks over to Tony. “I’m ready.”

“You sure? Because I’m killing it on Angry Birds right now.” Tony looks up, his brow furrowing. “And also you still look like you’re about to face a firing squad.”

“I do?”

“Well, now you just look adorably confused,” Tony says as he stands up, putting his phone away and picking up a bunch of flowers. “Hey,” he says, pushing up on his toes and kissing Steve softly. “She’s going to be happy to see you.”

“Is she?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

Steve rests their foreheads together and closes his eyes for a moment, drawing as much strength as he can from Tony being there with him. “Okay,” he says, opening his eyes and stepping back. “Okay.” He falls into step beside Tony as they walk to the doors, and when Tony’s fingers brush against his, Steve grabs on, holding on as tight as he dares.

Letting Tony guide him through the hallways, Steve tries not to think too much about what he’s about to face, how wrong it could go, and before he knows it, they’re outside Peggy’s room. Steve pauses, watching Tony fiddling with the flowers he brought from New York. “You go in,” Steve says. “See how she is. If she’s good, then—then I’ll come in. If not, we can—I’d cause more pain if she’s not cognisant.”

“Steve—”

“It’s better this way,” Steve says. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

Tony pushes up and kisses Steve’s cheek. “You’d better come in when I call you, don’t make me look like a liar to Peg.”

“Promise,” Steve says as Tony walks away. Steve can hear the low rumblings of the two of them talking, and if he concentrated he’d be able to listen in, but that seems unfair to them both so he doesn’t. Instead he looks around for distractions, taking in the well maintained building, the nurses walking through the halls looking busy but not rushed, and the laughter coming from another room.

“Steve,” Tony calls, breaking into his thoughts. “You can come in.”

Taking a deep breath, Steve pushes open the door Tony had closed behind him, and then he sees her, Peggy. Sitting up in bed in a blue nightgown, her grey hair styled perfectly, a little bit of lipstick that he’s sure Tony must’ve helped her put on. She still looks beautiful to his eyes.

“Hi Peggy,” he says softly, taking a seat by her bed. “Been a while.”

“And you haven’t aged a day,” Peggy says, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I couldn’t believe it when Tony told me, but—well. I suppose if anyone had a chance of surviving, it would’ve been you.”

“Sorry it took me so long to come see you.”

“What’s a few months after seventy years?”

Tony snorts. “Don’t be mean, Aunt Peg,” he says, leaning back in his chair and smiling over at Steve. “Aliens happened.”

“Ah yes,” Peggy says, her hands smoothing the quilt over her lap. “I heard about that, wondered if I was losing my mind, given everything.”

“Peg,” Tony admonishes lightly.

“Right, can’t be too honest around dear Anthony,” Peggy says, leaning over to Steve. “He’s awfully sensitive, you know.”

“I’ve noticed that,” Steve says, a small smile crossing his face.

“You should’ve known him when he was a boy,” Peggy says, settling back against her pillows.

Tony shakes his head, an embarrassed look crossing his face. “You’re really going to start that already.”

“You were adorable,” Peggy says, glancing at Tony before looking back at Steve. “He really was, Steve. Mop of messy hair with big brown eyes, getting into trouble as soon as he could walk.”

“Before then, even,” Tony says. “Go on, do your worst, tell Steve my childhood shames, ruin his image of me.”

“Tony, I’ve seen you snoring with your mouth open after falling asleep on the couch, I’ve seen you mistake motor oil for coffee, and I once made you jump for a coffee pot by holding it over my head,” Steve says. “What image do you think Peggy is going to ruin?”

“I don’t snore,” Tony says. “That’s a lie.”

“When we get home, I’ll have JARVIS play you the footage,” Steve says, a smile crossing his face as Tony makes a face at him. “Peggy, please continue.”

Peggy looks between them and raises her eyebrows. “So you’re done flirting in front of me?”

Steve’s face flushes and he opens his mouth, unsure what to say. “Uh—”

“Peg? Are you okay with it?” Tony asks, his gaze fixed on her.

“Oh put your eyes away, Tony,” Peggy says with a laugh. “You think I don’t remember you telling me you wanted to marry Steve?”

“Okay, I was seven,” Tony says. “You don’t have to bring that up.”

Steve’s slightly distracted by the flush on Tony’s cheeks, but he drags his eyes away from him and looks at Peggy. “Is it—I mean—”

“I want you to have a life, Steve,” Peggy says softly. “I did, you deserve one as well. Take that look off your face, you don’t have to be so dramatic.”

Steve laughs. “Thank you, Peg,” he says with a soft smile. “That means a lot.”

“Dramatic,” Peggy reiterates. “So, Anthony, your fifth birthday, shall we start there?”

“No,” Tony says, shaking his head. “No, we don’t have to start there, in fact we can start anywhere else but there.”

“Now I have to know,” Steve says, sitting forward a little. “What happened on his fifth birthday?”

“Well,” Peggy says, looking at Tony who waves a hand in the air in resignation. “I’d stopped by in the morning, I was going to be away for his party and I wanted to make sure I saw him. Maria and I were having tea when Tony came running into the room, make up smeared all over his face.”

“What?” Steve laughs, looking at Tony. “Why?”

“Oh, we asked him,” Peggy says. “And you know what he told us?”

“Peggy, no,” Tony says, covering his face. “God.”

“He said, ‘mommy uses this stuff on her special days and it’s _my_ special day today’,” Peggy says, her shoulders shaking with laughter. “Oh, Tony, sweetheart, you looked ridiculous. Bright red lipstick all over your mouth, eyeshadow around your eyes and on your forehead, it was so funny.”

“Well, it was my special day,” Tony says, a fond smile directed at Peggy. I wasn’t wrong about that.”

“No, you weren’t.” A sad look crosses Peggy’s face and she reaches over to hold Tony’s hand. “I am sorry, Tony, that I wasn’t around more.”

“You had a job, and a family,” Tony says. “And Howard was an ass.”

“He was at that,” Peggy says. “But you turned out just fine. Look at you, you even bagged yourself Captain America.”

“God, Peggy,” Steve groans, his face flushing like the first time he met her. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Yeah, Pegs, if you taught me anything it’s that Steve Rogers is the one I should brag about bagging,” Tony says, winking at Steve.

“I don’t know why I decided to subject myself to this,” Steve says, leaning back in his chair, his chest feeling warm as he looks at Tony and Peggy. “You’re both terrible people.”

“I think, Steve, that says more about your taste than it does about either of us,” Peggy says, voice clouded with amusement. “You may want to ponder that.”

Whatever Steve would say is cut off by Tony laughing, and Steve’s taken aback by how free he looks, how relaxed and happy he is, and the realisation that Steve would do anything to make Tony laugh like that again. “Yeah,” he says hoarsely, not taking his eyes off Tony. “You might be right about that.”

*

A few weeks later, Steve’s on the couch in Tony’s workshop when his phone goes off. “Shit,” he says, putting down the tablet he’s been working on. “Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Pierce wants to meet me.”

Tony turns around on his stool. “What? Why?”

“He says he has something to show me,” Steve says, frowning at his phone. “I think he’s testing me.”

“What do you want to do?”

Steve leans back against the couch and sighs. “I don’t know,” he says. “If I say no, he’ll lock me out of everything and we lose our one lead.”

“But if you say yes, you don’t know what you’re walking into.”

“Exactly.”

“Do you—I mean we could tell the rest of the team,” Tony says. “They could be on standby, if—”

“No,” Steve interrupts. “Not until I get more information.”

“Okay.”

Meeting Tony’s eyes, Steve hesitates. “You think I should tell them,” he says.

“No,” Tony says. “I mean. It’s your choice, and given that I once hid I was dying from everyone, I don’t think I’m the person to say when to spill your secrets.”

“I want to tell them,” Steve says, running a hand over his hair. “I do, but it feels too early, I need more information, a plan, something more than what I have.”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a battle plan before telling them,” Tony says. “Only—”

“What?”

“The choice might get taken out of your hands, depending on Pierce.”

Steve nods. “You’re right,” he says, watching as Tony gets up and walks over, sinking down into the couch with him. “What do you think I should do?”

“When are you meeting him?”

“Tonight,” Steve says, catching Tony’s hand where his fingers have been unconsciously running up and down Steve’s thigh. “Short notice again.”

“They don’t want you to have time to make a plan,” Tony says. “It’s smart, in a diabolical way.”

“They don’t know I’m dating a genius.”

“I knew you only wanted me for my brain.”

“Not just that,” Steve says, pressing a swift kiss against Tony’s lips. “Your ass is high on the list as well.”

“The words that come out of your mouth,” Tony says. “Moms everywhere would have conniptions if they knew.”

“Not really bothered about them,” Steve says honestly. “Only you.”

There’s a light flush over Tony’s cheekbones, and all Steve wants is to press him back against the couch and waste the rest of the day kissing him, running his hands all over Tony’s body, and finding all the ways to make him gasp in pleasure, but—.

“Hydra,” Tony says abruptly, interrupting Steve’s thoughts. “We—you have no idea how much I’d rather do whatever it is that’s got your face looking like that, but—”

“Yeah,” Steve says, swallowing and shifting on the couch, his pants uncomfortably tight. “Hydra. Right.”

“What’s the plan?”

“I can’t have the team on standby,” Steve says. “But if I have the watch, then I have you. Anything that sounds wrong, or—I don’t think I’d be able to give you a signal, but if—”

“I’ve got your back,” Tony says, cutting Steve off. “The armour is ready, and if anything goes wrong, I’ll be there. I promise.”

Steve nods. “If they ask me to do something I won’t do, my cover gets blown and everyone I know is in danger.”

“If Hydra are in SHIELD, then everyone you know is in danger anyway, Steve, it wouldn’t be your fault,” Tony says. “Clint was set up on that last mission, and we don’t know how many other agents could be working for them.”

“Cut off the head and two more take its place,” Steve says. “That’s Hydra. Fuck, Tony, even if we take down this branch, there’s more out there.”

“Then we take them down as well.”

Steve looks at Tony and finds there’s a set to Tony’s jaw Steve’s never seen before, a steely determination in his eyes. “You really believe that?” Steve asks quietly.

“I have to,” Tony says. “After—when I found out what the company had been doing behind my back, I rooted out everyone who had a hand in it, but I’m still not sure I got them all. We have bases across the world and I personally oversaw getting everyone who was connected to Obie out of my company any way that I could. Created a lot of enemies doing it, but I knew what I had to do. I knew what was right. Just like I know what we have to do with SHIELD. We take down Pierce, and we don’t stop until we’ve got rid of everything to do with Hydra, even if that means burning SHIELD to the ground.”

If Steve wasn’t turned on before that speech, he sure as hell is now. “Maybe you should be the one giving inspirational speeches,” he finally manages to say.

“Wasn’t bad, right?”

“Come here,” Steve says, coaxing Tony onto his lap. Reaching up, Steve cups Tony’s cheek and draws him down into a kiss, taking reassurance from the way Tony so easily opens up to him and lets him take what he needs. “Thank you,” he says when he breaks the kiss, thumb brushing over a streak of grease on Tony’s cheekbone.

“Anytime.”

Steve slides his hands down to Tony’s lower back, fingertips slipping underneath the hem of Tony’s shirt. “Can we eat down here before I have to go? Pizza, or something?”

“You just want to make out with me without Clint making kissing noises.”

“Yes, I make all my making out decisions based on Clint,” Steve says, smiling when Tony laughs. “No, I—I’d just like to spend some time with you before I have to deal with Pierce.”

“Sure,” Tony says, his fingers playing with the short strands of hair at the back of Steve’s head. “On one condition.”

“That is?”

“Another kiss.”

“Well,” Steve says, his lips brushing over Tony’s mouth. “You can always have that.”

*

It’s a different building tonight and, judging by the amount of security around, Steve doesn’t think it’s a temporary one like last time. It can’t be their permanent base, Steve knows Pierce isn’t stupid enough to bring Steve in that closely, but it’s somewhere important and that makes Steve uneasy. He’s suddenly sure that whatever they’re going to show him is a lot worse than he initially imagined.

After being made to leave his phone, and the initial scan of his body, Steve’s lead into a lobby style room where he ignores the couch and instead stands, arms folded across his chest as he waits. It doesn’t take long before Pierce walks in, and Steve wonders if he should’ve switched the watch on before Pierce came in.

“Captain,” Pierce says, shaking his hand as he greets him. “Good to see you.”

“What do you want to show me?” Steve asks. “I don’t have long.”

“Of course, you must be a busy man.” Pierce eyes him. “There are some in our organisation who think I shouldn’t be doing this. They say I can’t trust you. What do you think about that?”

“Like I said before, I’m not here to prove myself.”

Pierce hums, not taking his eyes off Steve, and Steve resists shifting underneath the gaze. “Follow me,” Pierce says after a moment. “You’ll have to go through security protocols again,” he continues as they head towards a service elevator. “High level assets are down here, you understand.”

“As long as there’s no rubber gloves involved, I’ll be fine,” Steve says as they step into the elevator.

“No, nothing like that,” Pierce says with a small chuckle. “I think even our security would baulk at doing a cavity search on you.”

Steve lets a tight smile cross his face before he looks away from Pierce. The elevator is quiet, the churning of the old mechanics the only sound, and Steve wonders who owns the building, if this is potentially a SHIELD building with Hydra hiding in plain sight.

“Step through here,” Pierce says when the doors open. “Just a quick scan.”

Eyeing the security, Steve walks through the scanner, a flood of relief flowing through him when he passes. Pierce doesn’t take his eyes off him and Steve raises an eyebrow. “Something to say?”

“No,” Pierce says, turning on his heel. “This way.”

Looking at the watch, Steve presses the sides and switches it on, hoping like all hell that it’s still going to be able to transmit to Tony, because he can tell they’re deep underground. There’s layers of concrete surrounding them as Pierce walks further into the building, and Steve finds himself cataloguing how to get out if this is an ambush. There’s no route out that he can see aside from where they came in, and he’d have to rely on his speed and healing if it came to it. Steve hopes it’s not an ambush, he doesn’t want to die like this. Not now.

They reach a heavy door with no handles or windows, and Steve sets his jaw as the door opens for them. It’s dark in the room, with a two way mirror between them and another room, and the feeling of dread Steve had coming into this increases. Pierce walks straight to the two way window and presses the intercom to the side of the glass.

“Bring the asset in,” he says. “Put him in the chair.”

Steve stands looking through the mirror, his arms folded across his chest to stop himself from clenching his fists as he watches a man being dragged into the room and forced into the chair. He’s shirtless, one arm made of metal, and when they strap his head to the headrest, Steve finally sees his face.

Bucky.

Suspecting it is one thing, but seeing it with his own two eyes is something very different, and Steve forces himself to watch. Bucky’s unnervingly compliant as they shove something in his mouth for him to bite down on, the metal straps on the chair holding him down at the command of one of the people in the room.

“Wipe him,” Pierce says. “Get rid of everything.”

Bucky screams and the noise sinks into Steve’s bones.

Steve catalogues the equipment they’re using, trying to remember as much of it as possible to tell Tony when he gets back. If they know what’s being used on Bucky, then maybe if they get him back, they can—. Steve senses Pierce coming up behind him and clamps down on his thoughts.

“So,” Pierce says. “Bet you didn’t think you’d see him again.”

“No,” Steve manages to say. “I thought he died. How long have you had him?”

“Since he fell from the train,” Pierce says. “On and off, you understand. He’s kept in cryo until we need him. He has a certain skill set that has been very useful over the years. Changed history, one might say.”

“And you need him now?”

“We do,” Pierce says, clapping Steve on the back. “The world is changing, Captain. Ever since Tony Stark didn’t die in that cave and came back with a mission, Hydra knew that a day of reckoning would come. That we’d have to be ready. Your pal there, he’s been part of our biggest missions.”

“Sounds like you don’t need me for much,” Steve says, even as his stomach churns. “Since you have one very compliant soldier.”

“We can always use another,” Pierce says. “Now. You said you didn’t have much time, so I’ll see you out.”

“What was the point of this?” Steve asks as they walk out of the room, making sure not to give Bucky another look as he leaves. “Was this supposed to shock me? Make me punch you? Disavow Hydra?”

“It was a test,” Pierce admits. “I wanted to see how you reacted.”

“And?”

“And you passed. For now.”

“If you’re looking for gratitude you’ll be in for a long wait,” Steve says when they reach the elevator.

“I wouldn’t expect that,” Pierce says. “But you did need to see him before—” Pierce pauses, narrowing his eyes. “Well. I’ve said enough.”

“Worried someone’s going to chop off your head?”

“You’re funny,” Pierce says. “They never wrote about that in the history books.”

“There’s a lot about me they didn’t write in the history books,” Steve says, stepping inside the elevator and raising an eyebrow when Pierce doesn’t join him.

“Forgive me if I don’t see you all the way out, Captain,” Piece says. “You’re not the only busy man in the world.”

“Of course,” Steve says. The doors close, and Steve doesn’t move from his spot in the elevator until it reaches the floor he came in on. Stepping out, he collects his things from security and isn’t surprised when he has an escort following him to the boundary of the property. They see him off with a salute, and Steve sticks his hands in his coat pockets before heading towards the nearest subway station.

*

Tony’s waiting for him just inside the private entrance of the tower, and as soon as Steve sees him, his facade crumbles. “Tony, I—”

“Come here,” Tony says, holding out his arms. “Jesus, Steve, just—”

Steve doesn’t need any more encouragement than that, and he willingly goes, sinking into Tony’s touch. Tony’s hands are gripping his coat tight, like he wants to make sure Steve’s really there with him, and Steve buries his face against Tony’s neck, breathing in the scent of his cologne. “I couldn’t—fuck, Tony, I—.”

“I know,” Tony says quietly. “I know. I heard. It was—”

“Bucky, yeah,” Steve says against Tony’s neck. “He’s missing an arm, and there’s—there wasn’t anything of him left. I think I could’ve been in the room with him and he wouldn’t know me.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony says, one hand coming up and cupping the back of Steve’s head. “Hey, let's get you upstairs.”

“Is everyone—” Steve cuts himself off and backs away enough to meet Tony’s eyes, his hands resting on Tony’s hips. “I can’t see them like this.”

“You think I don’t know how to sneak around my own tower?” Tony raises his eyebrows. “Give me a little credit.”

“Ah, of course,” Steve says, letting Tony take his hand and lead him towards the elevators. “What was I thinking?”

Tony laughs as the doors close. “JARVIS, straight to my floor.”

Steve leans against the wall of the elevator and closes his eyes. “Thank you,” he says, feeling Tony squeeze his hand. “I don’t—”

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Tony interrupts. “Let me get you somewhere comfortable first.”

“I want to shower,” Steve says. “After that, I feel—” he breaks off and shrugs. “Like they’re on me.”

“We can stop at your floor if—”

“I want to shower with you,” Steve says, opening his eyes and looking straight at Tony. “If that’s okay.”

“Oh,” Tony says. “I—yes. Yeah. We can do that.”

When the elevator reaches Tony’s floor, Steve pushes what he’s seen to the back of his mind and walks straight to Tony’s bedroom, knowing Tony’s following him. Shrugging his coat off, Steve drops it on the couch and turns to look at Tony only to find him staring at him with wide eyes. Steve pulls at the edge of his t-shirt and tugs it over his head, holding it in his hand for a moment before it follows the coat onto the couch.

“You—” Tony raises an eyebrow and a soft smile crosses his face. “Take the rest off.”

Letting out a low rumble of a laugh, Steve rids himself of the rest of his clothes, tucking his shoes neatly underneath the couch, and he stands there fully nude as Tony looks him over. “Now you,” Steve says, closing the gap between them and sliding his hands underneath Tony’s hoodie, only finding bare skin. “Can’t shower in all this.”

“No,” Tony breathes out, pulling his hoodie off. “No, I can’t.” His sneakers and jeans follow, and Steve watches greedily as Tony pushes his boxers down his thighs before stepping out of them, leaving a pile of clothes on the floor.

The water is already running when they set foot inside the bathroom, and Steve steps inside the shower, letting the water run down his body so he can start to wash away the last few hours. He enjoys the warmth of the spray for a moment before he looks over at Tony and frowns. “You getting in?”

“Yeah, yes, I—” Tony shakes his head and gets in the shower. “Just didn’t expect to end my day with a wet and naked you.”

“Disappointed?”

“Not in the slightest,” Tony says. “This is how all my days should end from now on.”

Steve runs his hands down Tony’s body and pulls him close, enjoying the rush of having all of Tony’s naked skin against him for the first time. Part of him thinks this should be awkward, that maybe there should be some hesitancy, but all Steve can think is that this is right, that being here with Tony like this is exactly where he’s meant to be.

“So,” Tony says, pressing a kiss against Steve’s neck. “I’m not gonna ask if you’re okay because I don’t know how you can be, but can I—let me take care of you?”

Lowering his head, Steve catches Tony’s mouth in a quick kiss before he brushes their noses together. “Sure,” he says quietly, blinking against the water running over his face.

Steve lets Tony turn him around, and he hears the click of the shower gel bottle before Tony’s hands are on his skin, slowly massaging his muscles. A groan slips out of Steve’s mouth without meaning to, and the more Tony touches him, the more the weight of the day starts to catch up with him. Steve’s chest tightens and it’s only the feel of Tony’s hands on him that grounds him, stops him from sinking to the floor of the shower and crying. As it is, he can’t stop the tears that have started to run down his face, and Steve closes his eyes as he tips his face to the water and tries to hide them.

“Turn for me?” Tony asks quietly, and Steve obeys, sighing as Tony’s hands trail over his shoulders. “There you are.”

Steve opens his eyes, tilting his head so the water is running down his back instead of his face. “I’m not okay,” he says. “Today was hard.”

“Yeah,” Tony says, reaching up and pushing Steve’s wet hair back. “Really hard.”

“I should’ve gone back when he fell, I should’ve looked for him, found him, if I had then he wouldn’t be—and I wouldn’t—”

“Wouldn’t feel so guilty?”

“Yeah,” Steve says. He kisses Tony’s fingertips as they pass over his mouth. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Want to crawl into bed with me and cry?” Tony asks. “You’re safe with me, if that’s what you want to do.”

Steve laughs despite himself. “I’d hope that if I were crawling into bed with you, I’d be doing something other than crying.”

“I mean, that can be arranged as well,” Tony says. “I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Wrapping his arms around Tony’s wet frame, Steve lifts him up slightly and kisses him. He’s exhausted, but there’s a level of comfort from having Tony’s body against his that can’t be duplicated by anything. Tony’s hands are scrabbling for a grip on Steve’s skin, and Steve smiles into the kiss, pressing their mouths together one more time before he lowers Tony back down. “We should finish up in here,” he says. “Then we can see what happens.”

“Yeah,” Tony says, squeezing Steve’s arm. “Sounds good.”

By the time they’re done in the shower, Steve feels dead on his feet, and it’s all he can do to towel himself off enough so he doesn’t create a damp patch on the mattress. Tony ushers him towards the bed, and when Steve hits the soft sheets, he presses his face against the pillow, breathing in Tony’s scent. “Sorry,” he says, turning his head to the side as Tony slips into bed next to him.

“For what?”

“Don’t think I—not exactly up for anything,” Steve says. “Want to, but—”

“Sleep, Steve,” Tony says, reaching out and tugging on a strand of Steve’s hair that’s flopping in front of his face. “I’ll still be here in the morning.”

Steve hums, his eyes closing, and the last thing he remembers is the touch of Tony’s lips against his forehead.

*

Steve’s not sure when in the night they migrated together, but waking up with Tony in his arms is something Steve could definitely get used to. Pressing a kiss to Tony’s messy hair, Steve sighs and stares up at the ceiling, his fingers trailing over Tony’s back as he thinks on the events of the day before. He still doesn’t know what the right next step to take is, and the only thing he’s sure of is that the entire situation is going to get worse before it gets better.

“I can hear you thinking,” Tony mutters, his breath hitting Steve’s chest and making Steve’s nipples perk up. “Stop that.”

“You can’t hear me thinking,” Steve says. “That’s not a thing.”

“Okay, no,” Tony says, pushing himself up and looking up at Steve. “But your heart rate picked up, and not in a fun way.”

The corners of Steve’s mouth turn up and he rests his palm against Tony’s lower back. “You caught me,” he says. “I don’t know what to do about... everything.”

“You don’t have to know,” Tony says. “That’s what you’ve got a team for.”

“You think I should tell them.”

“I think maybe you should think about it now,” Tony says, rolling off Steve and sitting up, his back against the headboard. “Natasha knows about the Winter Soldier, she knows you suspected it was Bucky. She, at least, deserves to know that your suspicions were right, especially if you want to help him.”

“And the rest of it?” Steve asks, glancing at Tony. “Hydra? SHIELD? It’s not like the war, this feels more—”

“Insidious?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how to fight that.”

“We could blow some stuff up,” Tony says, shrugging. “That usually works.”

Steve laughs. “That’s helpful, thanks.”

“Just trying to lighten the mood,” Tony says. “Look, there’s a lot of ways this could go, and I don’t know where all the pieces are going to fall, but I do know that I’m by your side in this. That however you want to play it, I’m backing you. I don’t want you to think I’m not.”

Steve scrambles to sit up, not entirely sure how to react to the enormous amount of faith Tony’s put in him, so he just stares at him, mouth slightly parted as he processes what Tony’s saying. It’s not that he didn’t know Tony was supporting him in this, Steve wouldn’t have been able to get as far as he has without Tony being behind him, but to hear it put into words makes the uncomfortable churning in his gut vanish, only to be replaced with something else. Something that makes Steve want to lay Tony out on the bed and take his fill of him.

“Steve?”

“Yeah, yes, I— _Tony_.”

“Too much? It was too much, wasn’t it? Too soon, really, I shouldn’t be saying things like that when we haven’t even slept together, and—it’s fine, we can forget I ever—”

“No,” Steve says, pressing a finger against Tony’s mouth softly before taking it away once Tony quiets. Inching closer on the bed, Steve leans in, resting a hand on Tony’s leg. “I don’t want to forget any of what you said.”

There’s a look on Tony’s face that makes it seem like he doesn’t believe a word Steve is saying, and Steve doesn’t know how to find better words, so instead he does the one thing he knows how to do. He kisses him, holding Tony’s face in place with both hands, and tries to put into the kiss all he can’t say, all the words he could search for an age for and never find.

“Okay,” Tony breathes out when the kiss ends, his lips slightly swollen. “We won’t forget it.”

“Good,” Steve says. He runs a hand through Tony’s hair, messing up his already unkempt bedhead, and laughs when Tony tries to see what he’s doing. “Tony, I don’t know the right thing to say here, hell I don’t know the right thing to say in a lot of situations, but having you with me—I wouldn’t be able to do this without you. And part of me feels like this is where I was always meant to end up.”

“Steve—”

“I woke up here and I had nothing,” Steve says, his hands in his lap. “Everything I knew was gone, and the next thing I knew I was fighting aliens with people I barely knew. But that day, inviting me to stay, inviting all of us to stay, you made it easier. You made everything easier.”

“That’s something that’s never been said about me before,” Tony says, taking Steve’s hands in his. “I didn’t do anything special, Steve. You—” Tony breaks off and sighs. “You know I’m not okay, I have nightmares about too many things that have happened in my life, and it’s—maybe it’s selfish, but having you here makes life better.”

Steve smiles, looking down at Tony holding his hands, Tony’s sleep warm skin a comforting balm. “I guess we need a plan other than blowing stuff up,” Steve says. “If we’re going to get this done.”

“You know who would be good at that?”

“Natasha.”

“Yep.”

“I’ll talk to her after breakfast,” Steve says. “If—”

“Captain Rogers, I am sorry to interrupt,” JARVIS interjects. “But Director Fury is on the line, and he’s quite insistent.”

Steve frowns, exchanging a look with Tony. “Put him through, JARVIS.”

“Captain Rogers,” Fury says. “I need you to get your crew together.”

“What is it?” Steve asks, getting out of bed and pulling out a dresser drawer before realising he doesn’t have any clothes in Tony’s room. Rolling his eyes at the laugh Tony smothers, he takes the robe Tony hands him and tugs it on, the fabric skimming the middle of his thighs. “Director?”

“We’re not entirely sure,” Fury says. “But it’s robotic and breathing fire in Central Park, so I’d consider it a personal favour if you’d all get your asses in gear.”

Steve would swear there’s an audible click at the end of that, even though he knows phones don’t do that anymore, and he looks at Tony. “Guess that conversation with Nat is going to have to wait. Along with breakfast.”

“Guess so,” Tony says, walking around the bed and kissing Steve. “Go get ready, I’ll meet you there.”

“JARVIS? Have you alerted the others?” Steve asks as he leaves Tony’s bedroom and heads to his own floor.

“Yes Captain,” JARVIS says. “All but Mr Banner will meet you aboard the quinjet. And if I may, there is food ready in the communal kitchen you can eat on the way.”

“Thanks, JARVIS.”

*

The quinjet lands on the East Meadow, and Steve hops out, the rest of the team close behind him. SHIELD personnel are already there evacuating civilians, and Steve almost chokes on the smoke from the burning trees.

“Nice of you to make it,” Tony says over the comms. “Think I can bring this guy down, I’ve spotted a weak spot, but I need you to distract him. It. Him? Hey, any sign of someone in charge of this thing?”

“Not yet,” Steve says, looking around at the agents already there sweeping the park. “My guess is SHIELD are taking care of that end.”

“Well. Okay then. Someone get a distraction going before I have to pay to replace every tree in Central Park.”

“On it,” Natasha says. “Clint, time to put those new arrows to the test.”

“Looking forward to it,” Clint says, grabbing his bow.

It doesn’t take much to distract the robot long enough for Tony to get a good hit in, and it falls to the ground, taking another several trees with it that has Tony muttering under his breath about the cost of horticulture. Steve can’t help but laugh, and he’s about to call for them all to wrap it up when he suddenly hears Natasha yell out in pain over the comms.

“Widow? Widow?” Steve looks around frantically but he can’t see her. “Anyone have eyes on Natasha?”

“I got her,” Tony says, hovering above the fields in the North Meadow before flying down. “She needs help.”

Steve’s already running before Tony finishes his sentence, and he knows Clint is right behind him. The sight that greets him makes him skid to a stop. Bucky’s there, with his mental hand wrapped around Natasha’s throat.

“Cap. _Cap_ , come on, not now,” Tony’s voice drags Steve back to action, and Steve throws the shield at Bucky, but Bucky catches it with one hand.

“Shit,” Steve bites out, and he barely has time to move before Bucky’s throwing it back at him. Grabbing it out of the air, Steve runs full force at him, and can see Tony aiming repulsor blasts at Bucky from a distance. “Iron Man, stay on him,” he says, voice as firm as he can make it.

“Got it, Cap.”

“Hawkeye? How’s Widow?” Steve asks, ducking out of the way as Bucky throws a punch.

“She’s—”

“I’m fine,” Natasha interjects, her voice hoarse. “He’s done worse to me.”

“That’s— _fuck_ —” Steve winces as he feels the knife slice into his thigh before it’s quickly pulled out again by Bucky.

“Cap?” Tony calls through the comms. “You—”

“I’m fine,” Steve says. “Keep on him, I can’t—” Steve’s cut off as he catches a kick to the face and he stumbles backwards, falling into a dugout.

Tony lands next to him and helps him up. “We’re not going to beat him like this,” he says. “Steve, we gotta—”

“I know,” Steve says, punching Bucky in the throat, his eyes widening when it barely has an effect on Bucky. “I don’t want to kill him.”

“Well he’s sure as hell trying to kill you!” Tony yells as he fires repulsors at Bucky, swearing when Bucky dodges more of them than he takes.

Steve can’t risk Bucky catching the shield and managing to keep it, so he switches to hand to hand instead. Bucky’s goddamn fast, evenly matched with Steve, and if it weren’t for Tony distracting him with blasts, Steve’s not sure he’d be holding his own. He sees Clint out of the corner of his eye aiming for Bucky, and Steve ducks, but so does Bucky and the arrow misses him entirely.

Bucky slashes at Steve with his knife and Steve jumps back, watching as Natasha fires off her bites at Bucky. Those hit him, but Bucky barely reacts, ripping them from his neck and throwing them to the ground. Tony’s still firing blasts at Bucky, but it’s like Bucky’s seen a pattern and is dodging them with more accuracy than before. A gun gets pulled out, and Bucky starts firing. Steve’s just about to jump back in when he feels a blast to his side, hears Tony yelling in his ear and—.

Shit.

That bullet hit him.

Grabbing his side, Steve feels the blood pooling through his gloves, and he looks at Bucky, willing him to recognise him, to break through whatever the hell Hydra has done to him. “Buck,” he breathes out. “C’mon.”

“Steve,” Tony yells, a blast hitting Bucky’s metal arm. “Don’t you goddamn dare.” A second blast hits the arm at the joint, and Bucky stumbles, turning his gaze on Tony, and Steve’s blood runs cold.

But then Bucky pauses, like he’s being given instructions, and Steve squints, suddenly noticing the comms device in Bucky’s ear. It had been hidden before, but now that Bucky’s still, Steve can see it, and he would bet his goddamn shield that Pierce is on the other end of that device.

“Yes,” Bucky says, shooting a look at Steve, and before Steve knows what’s happening, Bucky turns on his heel and runs, vanishing into the park.

Tony lands next to Steve, flipping his faceplate up and meeting Steve’s gaze. “Steve? Steve, you with me?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, blinking and looking at him. “I’m with you.”

“We gotta get out of here,” Tony says. “And you need to be patched up.”

“I’ll heal,” Steve says, looking down at his blood soaked gloves. “I—he shot me.”

“And then he ran away,” Tony says. “I know, I saw.”

Steve notices Natasha and Clint approaching and he holds up a hand to stop them. “Quinjet,” he says. “We’re going home.”

“You’re going to owe us an explanation,” Natasha says over the comms, her voice still hoarse. “You know that, right?”

“Not here,” Tony says, letting Steve lean on him as they walk over. “And not today.”

“Tony—”

“Nat, just give us until tomorrow,” Steve says, when he and Tony catch up to them. “Please.”

Natasha purses her lips in annoyance but nods, reaching out and wrapping her arm around Steve’s waist. “Let's get you home.”

*

Steve’s almost healed by the time they make it back to the tower, but that doesn’t stop Tony from fussing over him, and Steve lets him, indulging in the novelty of someone looking after him. Pulling the uniform off is always the worst part of being injured, and today is no different. The skin knitted around the edges of the fabric with both the knife wound and gunshot wound, and Steve hates how it feels to have his skin ripped away.

The bullet went straight through, and JARVIS assures him there's no damage that his body hasn’t already repaired, so Steve sits back as Tony cleans him up.

“Why isn’t the suit bulletproof?” Tony asks, wiping the blood off Steve’s skin. “That—who designed this?”

“SHIELD,” Steve says, looking down at Tony’s head, feeling an overwhelming amount of fondness. “I’m okay, Tony.”

“I know, I just—you got _shot_ ,” Tony says. “I’m making you a new suit, I was designing you one anyway, but given that the idiots at SHIELD gave you a suit that couldn’t hold off a knife, let alone a bullet, it’s jumped to the top of the list.”

“Hey,” Steve says, touching Tony’s cheek. “Skin’s clean.”

“Yeah,” Tony says, looking up at Steve before running a hand over the healed skin. “Are you hungry? The others ordered take out.”

“Not right now,” Steve says, suppressing a shiver at Tony’s touch. “I was thinking something else.”

“And what might that be?” Tony asks as he straightens up and walks over to the sink.

Steve gets up from the chair and stands behind Tony, sliding his hands around Tony’s waist. Pressing a kiss behind Tony’s ear, he holds him as Tony finishes washes his hands. “You,” Steve says quietly. “I want you.”

“You have me.”

“Tony—”

“I know what you mean,” Tony says as he turns in Steve’s arms.

“Then can we move this somewhere else?”

“Steve, do you—not that I don’t want to, but—”

“I’m healed,” Steve says, ducking his head to kiss a bruise on Tony’s shoulder lightly before he trails a line of kisses up Tony’s neck. “Tony, I’m fine.”

“Yeah, but—”

Steve cuts him off with a kiss, part of him still amazed at the fact he gets to have Tony like this, pressed up against him like there’s nowhere else in the world he’d rather be. Tony’s hands are gripping Steve’s hips firmly, and Steve pushes forward, groaning when he feels the line of Tony’s hard cock against his.

“Okay, you’ve convinced me,” Tony mumbles against Steve’s mouth. “Bed, please, I want—”

“Yeah,” Steve says nonsensically, reaching down and easily lifting Tony up, smiling against Tony’s mouth as Tony winds his legs around Steve’s hips. Walking them out of the bathroom, Steve stumbles a little when Tony’s teeth graze against his neck, and he almost drops Tony on the bed as he goes to lower him on the mattress. Straightening up, Steve looks at Tony sprawled out on the sheets in a pair of sweatpants which Tony quickly kicks off. “Beautiful,” Steve says as he loses his boxers before climbing on the bed, his body covering Tony’s form. “You’re so—”

“Shit, Steve, don’t, I’m not—”

Steve pauses, pushing up on an elbow and looks down at Tony. “You are,” he says softly, running a hand over Tony’s chest, his fingers tracing the scars around the reactor. “I know what you think about this, how you see yourself, but that’s not how I see it. That’s not how I see you.”

Tony swallows, looking up at Steve. “You’re something else, you know that?”

“It’s come up a few times,” Steve says, pressing a kiss where skin meets the reactor before he shifts, watching with pleasure at the way Tony’s face reacts to their cocks brushing together.”

“I—fuck, Steve, you need to be inside me,” Tony says, his hands running up Steve’s arms like he’s trying to memorise every inch of Steve’s skin with his fingertips.

It doesn’t take long to open Tony up, and Steve swears that one day he’s going to spread Tony out and fuck him with his fingers until he’s begging to be allowed to come, but right now he’s too damn impatient to get inside him. Slicking himself up, Steve slowly pushes inside Tony, watching the way Tony bites his bottom lip, the way his mouth falls open when Steve is all the way inside, legs wrapped around Steve and smiling up at him as Steve starts to move.

There could be a full USO routine going on in the corner of the room and Steve would be completely unaware as long as he’s got Tony beneath him reacting so beautifully to everything Steve’s doing. Steve didn’t know it could be like this, that he could let himself get consumed entirely by another person, and Steve’s struck by the fact that he would burn down worlds to keep this. To keep Tony.

And he thinks maybe that should scare him more than it does.

Tony’s staring up at him, his face flushed as he comes, spilling all over his stomach, and Steve feels him tighten around his cock. Swearing as Tony pulls him down into a desperate kiss, Steve’s hips jerk as he pushes into Tony again and again, chasing his own orgasm, a slow steady build that has his vision whiting out as it hits.

“Fuck,” Tony gasps in Steve’s ear. “I’m gonna have to take up yoga if we’re going to be doing that on a regular basis.”

Steve laughs and pushes up on his elbows, looking down at Tony. He looks gorgeously fucked out, messy hair and a lazy orgasm induced smile on his face, and Steve’s fingers itch to pick up a pencil and sketch him like this. He’s never seen Tony look so relaxed and Steve wants to make it happen as many times as possible. “Take up yoga,” Steve says, carefully slipping out of Tony and detangling their limbs. “Because we’ll be doing that again.”

Steve rolls off the bed and ducks into the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and dampening it under the faucet. When he comes out, Tony hasn’t moved from the bed and Steve just stares at him until Tony notices.

“Pervert,” Tony says, smiling at him, hands curling in the sheets.

Steve rolls his eyes as he walks over to the bed and quickly cleans them both up, hushing Tony’s protests with soft kisses. Dropping the washcloth on the floor, he pulls Tony into his arms and kisses the side of his head. “Thank you,” he says.

“I enjoyed it as much as you did,” Tony says, snuggling back against Steve’s chest. “But you’re welcome.”

“Not for that,” Steve says. “Though, yes, that was incredible.”

“Then for what?”

“For doing this with me,” Steve says quietly. “Taking on Hydra. Trusting me. Everything that you’ve been doing.”

“Steve, you—” Tony goes silent for a moment, and Steve just holds him patiently, waiting for him to gather his thoughts. “This goes both ways. Before you came along, I—well you know what my life was like. After Afghanistan it was like all I had was the mission, was the fight. Then you came along, with all the misfit friends, and suddenly I had a whole lot of people in my life I didn’t have before. I had people, other than Rhodey and Pepper, who stuck around. And for the life of me, I’ll never understand why, but it’s—. You changed my life, Steve Rogers. And I love you for that.”

Steve swallows and pulls Tony even closer to him. “You too,” he says. “I—you too.” Steve can’t quite say the words back yet, even though he feels it every second he’s with Tony. The words get stuck in his throat whenever he tries, and part of him feels terribly guilty for that, but when he finally says it, he wants to mean it with every fibre of his being. “I can’t—” Steve buries his face against Tony’s hair. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Tony says, his fingers rubbing a soothing pattern on Steve’s skin. “I know.”

Letting that sink in, Steve sighs. “I’m hungry.”

Tony snorts. “Shocking. Want to go and forage for take out? See if the kids have left us anything?”

“They’re still not our kids,” Steve says. “And yes. No. I don’t want to get up. But I’m hungry.”

“Life is hard, sweetcheeks.”

Steve shifts and lets go of Tony. “If you’re going to call me that, I’m going to get food.”

“Bring me back some,” Tony says, rolling onto his back as Steve gets out of bed. “And, uh. There’s some clothes in your size in the second drawer down.”

“You’re getting out of bed—wait, what?” Steve looks over at Tony who is very studiously avoiding his eyes. “You bought me clothes?”

“Can’t have you walking around naked,” Tony says. “It’s selfish of me, really, don’t want just anyone seeing all of you.”

“Tony—”

“Thought you were hungry?”

There’s a flippancy in Tony’s voice, but Steve’s not fooled, and he takes a few steps back over to the bed. Bending over, he holds Tony’s face and kisses him firmly, waiting until Tony starts to relax before he pulls away. “Thank you,” he says, kissing him quickly again. “Tony—thank you.”

“They’re just pants.”

“Sure they are,” Steve says, letting go and straightening up. “Just pants.”

Tony’s cheeks flush, and he waves a hand. “Go, get some clothes on. Bring back coffee. And something sweet.”

When Steve opens the drawer there’s several sets of clothes in there, along with the cashmere socks Steve’s taken to wearing around the tower because they’re so soft, and Steve reaches out to touch them. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Steve quickly gets dressed and pauses to look at Tony. He’s still in bed, but he’s grabbed a tablet and is muttering under his breath about bulletproof fibres, and even with all that’s going on in his life, Steve doesn’t think he could be happier with his life.

*

The next morning, Steve gets woken up by Tony’s hand in his face, poking his nose, and he bats it away. “S’rude,” he mutters against the pillow. “Nicer ways to wake me up.”

“Forgive me for being stuck on the fact that I’m having to wake _you_ up,” Tony says. “Natasha’s already asked where you are.”

Steve yawns and rolls on his back. “Shit,” he says. “We’ve got to—”

“Yep.”

“They’re not going to take it well,” Steve says, looking over at Tony sitting cross legged on the bed. “That we didn’t tell them, I mean.”

“They’re not,” Tony says. “But it’ll be easier if we do it together.”

“You sound very confident about that,” Steve says, pushing himself up, leaning back against the headboard. “Wish I could be.”

“You’re not going to lose them, Steve,” Tony says. “I promise. But you are going to have to get out of bed.”

Making a face, Steve reaches over and drags Tony into his arms. “That sounds terrible.”

“Well, I’m not inviting them in here,” Tony says. “And good lord, who knew you were such a snuggler?”

“You do, now,” Steve says, brushing Tony’s cheek with his nose. “Also I really don’t want to get out of bed.” He closes his eyes as Tony’s fingers run through his hair. “How about we stay here?”

Tony lets out a low laugh. “As much as I want that, I also don’t want Natasha kicking down my bedroom door.”

“You can afford to fix it,” Steve says, meeting Tony’s gaze, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile.

“Wow, okay,” Tony says, climbing off Steve and getting out of bed. “Come on. I’m going to be right there with you.”

Steve sighs but, resigned to what he has to do, he gets out of bed and follows Tony into the bathroom. After washing up, he pulls on some clothes and smiles when Tony hands him an SI branded hoodie. It looks well worn, and would be oversized on Tony, but it fits Steve just right. 

Everyone’s gathered in the large kitchen on the communal floor, and Steve watches as Tony goes straight for the coffee, pouring out two large mugs. Steve sits down at the table, across from Natasha and smiles at Tony when he hands him a mug. “Thanks,” Steve says, taking a sip before putting it down. There’s leftover pizza on the table, and Steve snags a box, eating it cold as he waits for Tony to finish making a bagel.

“So,” Bruce says, an empty bowl of cereal in front of him. “What is it you have to tell us.”

Steve can feel Natasha’s eyes on him as Tony sits down next to Steve, an everything bagel with cream cheese and capers on a plate that he puts on the table. Clint’s rocking on a backwards chair as he chews on some toast, and as Steve looks around at them all, he wonders how exactly he’s meant to say what he needs to.

“That day we dealt with Loki,” he begins. “Something strange happened.”

“Stranger than aliens?” Clint asks. “Oh this should be good.”

“I—another me, from a different timeline, he told me Bucky was still alive. I had reason to believe he was telling the truth. Natasha knows some of this.” Steve pauses and reaches for Tony’s hand, tangling their fingers together, pulling strength from his touch. “What she doesn’t know, and what I didn’t know, is that Hydra have infiltrated SHIELD. To the highest level.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Clint says, the front legs of his chair slamming into the ground. “Did you—my mission, was that?”

“We think so,” Steve says. “They—I don’t know why, but they think I’m one of them. At least they did, after yesterday I’m not so sure, but Pierce is one of them. Rumlow as well, I think the whole Strike Team, but I can’t be sure. Bucky—” Steve breaks off and swallows, meeting Natasha’s solid gaze. “Bucky’s the Winter Soldier.”

“Fuck,” Natasha swears under her breath, the only sign that she’s rattled by this. “I didn’t know for sure, Steve, I’m sorry.”

“Pierce showed him to me, the day before he attacked us,” Steve says. “I don’t know if that means Pierce no longer believes I’m part of them, or if it was a test to see—”

“The biggest thing here,” Tony interrupts. “Is that SHIELD is compromised. We can’t trust anyone working for them. Fury seems to be clean, but we don’t know for sure. We don’t know how deep it goes, and I don’t know how we prove what’s going on.”

“What’s the priority here?” Bruce asks. “Taking down Hydra? The Winter Soldier?”

“Both,” Tony says. “From what Natasha says, the longer Bucky’s out of cryo, the less under their control he is. That gives us something to work with. As for SHIELD, we go digging. Find out every dirty little secret they don’t want us to know about.”

“We have field agents,” Natasha says. “Deep cover across the world, if we expose all of SHIELD’s secrets, they’re all in danger.”

Steve nods in acknowledgement. “We’ll plan for that,” he says. “As for Bucky, can you call in some more favours? Get your hands on any files on him from anyone you know, the more we know, the more prepared we’ll be for when we get him out.”

“I already have some calls in,” Natasha says. “Are you sure you want me to make more?”

“No,” Steve says honestly. “But it has to be done.” He looks around the table, meeting everyone’s eyes as he does. “Look, I wasn’t prepared for this at all. If you’re feeling betrayed, I get it, and I’m sorry I kept it from you all, but I needed to know as many details as I could find before I brought it to you.”

Clint raises his mug and shrugs. “I feel betrayed, sure, but not by you. Kinda pissed SHIELD have apparently been setting me up to get killed.”

“Well,” Natasha says. “They have met you.”

“Not cool, Nat, not cool,” Clint says, sticking his tongue out at her. “We’re with you, Cap. Whatever you need.”

“I don’t exactly have any loyalty to SHIELD,” Bruce says, a small smile crossing his face. “I’m in.”

“You know I’m with you,” Tony says, kissing Steve’s cheek before rubbing away the cream cheese with a sheepish smile.

Steve looks at Natasha across the table, the only one who hasn’t said anything yet. “Nat?”

“I told you before you might not like what you find,” Natasha says, her hands fiddling with a napkin on the table as she looks up at Steve. “And you still want to do this?”

“I do.”

“Okay then,” she says. “Where do we start?”

A weight lifts off Steve’s shoulders as he listens to Tony jump in, discussing what he found on the helicarrier when JARVIS infiltrated. There’s a long road ahead of all of them, and Steve doesn’t know how this is going to end, but he has trust in his friends, and he has someone he loves by his side. And that’s more than he could’ve hoped for when he woke up in this century.

**Author's Note:**

> fic post on [twitter](https://twitter.com/starstarked/status/1365768242111856640?s=20)
> 
> fic post on [tumblr](https://gotthesilver.tumblr.com/post/644307674538917888/fic-wont-live-in-regrets-stevetony-mcu-21k)


End file.
